December 31, 2010
December 28, 2010
The Night You Saved My Soul...
I have a wish for 2011. I hope I can have enough courage to express my emotions. To say exactly what I want to, to do exactly what I feel like, in "real life". Too much happiness is already lost for I was too scared to let me be. I was too scared to let the real me out. I wish I can find courage to be vulnerable. Courage enough to laugh, cry, hate and love, without restraint.
Whipped Cream...
I'd bake fancy cream cakes for us and we'd sit on the river bank on a checkered cloth, red and white checks, and I don't know what else we'd do, but maybe we'd read the latest cake recipes and we'd argue about the proportions. I like more butter in my cake. You'd talk about precision. Mmm...I'd like that, arguing with you. And we'd eat cake once the sun would rise high above our heads. And we'd spend the whole afternoon licking the cream off each other's fingers. And then when the sun would dip lower in the sky, maybe we'd take a swim in the river. No, maybe you should take a swim and I'll watch, watch the water flow over your body. Yes, I would like watching you very much. Maybe you could convince me to join you too, but only after I have watched you enough. Should we head back home now? I think I would be a bit tired after all. Oh yes, ginger tea would be just what I would need. And maybe we'd end the day by baking some more cakes. Yes, I think I would like that. It would be our perfect cake day.
December 27, 2010
Flying Beneath the Birds...
One drop of courage, that's it, and the story would have been different.
You're a fool. The biggest ever.
Love,
A
You're a fool. The biggest ever.
Love,
A
"The Yellow Sundress"
This just made my birthday special. Thank you Divya! :)
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To A, for her birthday, for 26 years of amazing existence and here is to more amazing moments in life! --Divya
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To A, for her birthday, for 26 years of amazing existence and here is to more amazing moments in life! --Divya
"The Yellow Sundress"
I met her through a common saint
we both know very well,
too small for 24 then, and still tiny for 26 now,
she spoke of wild roses and scottish highlands
and her love for shoes and men.
She writes the way she speaks
of imprinted emotions, engraved gestures,
strange ways of love and lovers,
the joy of flight, the struggle of fight
the chime of beautiful little dreams,
what I read was familiar,
what I felt was similar.
Is it possible that we might have
shared a common existence in
the yesteryears of fate and destiny?
Perhaps, tucked away in history’s archives,
we were friends, sisters, daughters or
deadly sins from the Holy Testament?
Our tales and battles
of heartbreak and struggles
of longing, lingering ambitions
Vulnerable children of heaven
Both strong, determined and women
of this century of modernity.
We’ve clashed like armies
in the battlefield of perspectives
yet I feel and I know you are the
sweetest product of serendipity
and if all words fail to describe
your essence and presence
in this world of utter chaos,
Your portrait in the museum of living will
be that of adorned tresses,
with lilies from the valley, a sweet scent
of frangipani emanating from the
nape of your neck, and I see you
immersed in your favourite book,
lost in the warmth of a cup of tea
and the stunning, brilliant vision of
sun rays entering your heart of hearts
and the whole wide world celebrating-You.
For what you are and for what you will be.
For what you are and for what you will be.
And watching you- smile, radiantly,
with the the crown of joy
firmly on your head- in
what only you can wear best
- the yellow sundress.
From An Old Little Read Book...
How do I begin this? 44 years back I would not hesitate. Words would flow freely and emotions would tumble out readily. They were uncontrollable infact. But these days, emotions peek out from their closet first, look around and if they find everything to their liking, they make an appearance, otherwise, they lie in the darkness, dormant.
I am old now. My white hair will tell you that. I am proud of them infact. At my age, having a head full of hair is indeed a lucky thing. I feel lucky to be writing this too. But yes, I am old now. I never thought I would be writing this one day. Today.
She called today. I spoke to her after ages. We talked about the old times, the young times, the uncertain times, the times of much anticipation and possibility. The times when we were standing on the threshold, waiting but impatient, eager, wanting to jump over, run, move to the next phase of our lives. There was such excitement and mystery in those days. There were fears too, but there was also this immense hope that things will turn out okay 20, 30, 40 years later. We talked about all those hopes we had. All those dreams we had weaved. She's moving closer to me. I am happy. We will talk about old times and feel close again. We will have our lunches in the sun and watch our grandchildren play in front of us and we will feel blessed.
You know, looking back, we didn't realise what we had. We had our youth. We were young and restless. We wanted the world for us. Everything was possible. 'Cause we had nothing, we could have everything.
We are here she said. Yes, I told her. Did you dream about this day? No, I did not, I said.
No one dreams of being old you know. At 26, you dream of different things. Being old is not one of them. Old age seemed so far away at 26. Like a whole another world. 26 seems like a whole another world to me now. I look back at those young days and feel an immense sense of loss. An immense sense of sadness for the young girl that I was. I don't know why. Maybe it's the thing we all feel at this point in life. Maybe.
As a 26 year old woman I once wondered what old people dream about. At 26, she had her whole life ahead of her, her dreams could be bold, anything was possible for her. She was young.
Dreams are ever-evolving; this is what I have realised over the years. They are constantly changing. As a little girl I dreamed of having a fabulous career, as a woman my dreams were of having a wonderful family. A loving life-partner, smart happy kids, good friends, a good life. As an old woman, my dreams are different. I don't dream of conquering the world anymore. I dream of conquering the staircase now. So yes, I do dream too. But my dreams are bolder. And yes, I do hope for magical things, for anything to be possible. The quality of dreams doesn't change, just the content. At my age, I dream of seeing my children happy. I dream of sitting on the porch with him in the evenings and having our conversations, our never-ending conversations, for many many years to come. I dream of walking to my granddaughter's graduation ceremony. Of seeing her glow with youth and happiness. I dream of seeing her dreaming. I dream of telling her to dream her biggest, most impossible dreams and I dream of seeing her most audacious dreams come true. I dream of meeting my dear friends and having a good laugh about the old times. I dream of cooking my favourite food and having a house full of happy people, sharing their lives over a good meal. I dream of warm winters and cozy monsoons and bright summers. I dream of seeing a colourful garden in the backyard and feeling the same sense of possibility I felt 40 years back when I stood on top of one of the highest mountains on earth. I dream of living a few more years. That's bold now. Isn't it?
I know what you want to ask me. Did I get everything I wanted? Did I see all my dreams come true? The ones I dreamt 20, 30, 40 years back? Did I compromise?
What I will instead tell you, is that I found what I was looking for, looking all my life. I found it. And some more.
Mmmm...I love this time of year. There slight chill in the air and the aroma of a nice baked cake. And looks like someone's put on a kettle of my favourite tea. We humans don't satisfy easily, do we? But that's what keeps us going. I think I am going to dream of having that chocolate cake now. Oh yes, a chocolate cake! How does a lady celebrate her 70th birthday after all?
I am old now. My white hair will tell you that. I am proud of them infact. At my age, having a head full of hair is indeed a lucky thing. I feel lucky to be writing this too. But yes, I am old now. I never thought I would be writing this one day. Today.
She called today. I spoke to her after ages. We talked about the old times, the young times, the uncertain times, the times of much anticipation and possibility. The times when we were standing on the threshold, waiting but impatient, eager, wanting to jump over, run, move to the next phase of our lives. There was such excitement and mystery in those days. There were fears too, but there was also this immense hope that things will turn out okay 20, 30, 40 years later. We talked about all those hopes we had. All those dreams we had weaved. She's moving closer to me. I am happy. We will talk about old times and feel close again. We will have our lunches in the sun and watch our grandchildren play in front of us and we will feel blessed.
You know, looking back, we didn't realise what we had. We had our youth. We were young and restless. We wanted the world for us. Everything was possible. 'Cause we had nothing, we could have everything.
We are here she said. Yes, I told her. Did you dream about this day? No, I did not, I said.
No one dreams of being old you know. At 26, you dream of different things. Being old is not one of them. Old age seemed so far away at 26. Like a whole another world. 26 seems like a whole another world to me now. I look back at those young days and feel an immense sense of loss. An immense sense of sadness for the young girl that I was. I don't know why. Maybe it's the thing we all feel at this point in life. Maybe.
As a 26 year old woman I once wondered what old people dream about. At 26, she had her whole life ahead of her, her dreams could be bold, anything was possible for her. She was young.
Dreams are ever-evolving; this is what I have realised over the years. They are constantly changing. As a little girl I dreamed of having a fabulous career, as a woman my dreams were of having a wonderful family. A loving life-partner, smart happy kids, good friends, a good life. As an old woman, my dreams are different. I don't dream of conquering the world anymore. I dream of conquering the staircase now. So yes, I do dream too. But my dreams are bolder. And yes, I do hope for magical things, for anything to be possible. The quality of dreams doesn't change, just the content. At my age, I dream of seeing my children happy. I dream of sitting on the porch with him in the evenings and having our conversations, our never-ending conversations, for many many years to come. I dream of walking to my granddaughter's graduation ceremony. Of seeing her glow with youth and happiness. I dream of seeing her dreaming. I dream of telling her to dream her biggest, most impossible dreams and I dream of seeing her most audacious dreams come true. I dream of meeting my dear friends and having a good laugh about the old times. I dream of cooking my favourite food and having a house full of happy people, sharing their lives over a good meal. I dream of warm winters and cozy monsoons and bright summers. I dream of seeing a colourful garden in the backyard and feeling the same sense of possibility I felt 40 years back when I stood on top of one of the highest mountains on earth. I dream of living a few more years. That's bold now. Isn't it?
I know what you want to ask me. Did I get everything I wanted? Did I see all my dreams come true? The ones I dreamt 20, 30, 40 years back? Did I compromise?
What I will instead tell you, is that I found what I was looking for, looking all my life. I found it. And some more.
Mmmm...I love this time of year. There slight chill in the air and the aroma of a nice baked cake. And looks like someone's put on a kettle of my favourite tea. We humans don't satisfy easily, do we? But that's what keeps us going. I think I am going to dream of having that chocolate cake now. Oh yes, a chocolate cake! How does a lady celebrate her 70th birthday after all?
December 26, 2010
A Plan...
I am going to opt for court marriage, if I get married. Really. All this commotion and confusion and planning and coordinating is enough to drive the sanest of them mad. I don't know how the bride and groom are holding up. I'd just run away and get married. I'd like that infact. A Quiet ceremony. Just the dearest friends in attendance and then a dinner somewhere nice. Perfect.
December 25, 2010
Seedless Grapes...
Some things will always remain unsaid. Telling them will hurt the other person and not telling, will also hurt the other person. And so you wait for a time when telling them will not hurt so much, but by the time it comes to that, it does not matter anymore. So there, you live with those unsaid things.
A Warm Lazy Kitten...
How nice it is to read a book on a wintery afternoon. When you've just had a nice long warm bath and then generously applied fragrant almond oil all over and now you're skin doesn't stretch and itch due to the dryness anymore and you feel warm lying in your chair under the warm golden sun; your silky hair spread out, whispering in the breeze, chirping birds, a mynah somewhere saying hello and a good book telling you wonderful stories. How beautiful winters are.
December 24, 2010
Hello World...
Praveen is a daddy!!! :D I am sure Ahana (love the name!) is going to be the super hot rocker chick and drive her parents up the wall! :D Welcome to this world! I always wanted a niece and trust me, you're getting that pink lacy frock soon! Wait for it doll :)
December 23, 2010
Eat Kitsch...
Man, I sound so depressed on this blog! But the truth is, that it's just not the case! Let me tell you about something absolutely cheerful. Today is 23rd December and guess what will happen in 4 days? Yep, I will turn 26 years old! Isn't that wonderful news? For cosmetic companies? Tra-la-la, anti-ageing creams here I come! No no, you must not feel bad for me! I am absolutely not sad about saying goodbye to my youthful chubby cheeks! No, not at all! Like I said, I am extremely excited about blowing off 26 candles! I am absolutely jittery with happiness!
And hopefully if I keep telling myself that another 1000 times, I might even build courage enough to look myself in the mirror. Hopefully. Yes, I feel very cheerful indeed.
*****
That said, I bought a pink tube dress and a multi-coloured (More of a hot pink) strappy number for my birthday and pink and black glittery ballerinas. Much excitement. Also I am regularly exercising these days. So soon I shall sport a flat tummy. And what do you know, I might even get myself a brand new haircut! Aren't birthdays awesome? I know!
Talking about the pink tube dress, remember I went to some club in salwar kameez? There I spotted a girl in a pink tube dress and I loved it and I so wanted it. And I hunted every shop and boutique and every website for that same dress but no luck. And then Munira and I were walking back to the car after a nice lunch and we spot a quaint little boutique and we're are like, "hey this place looks good. Let's check it out". And what do you know? While Munira was cooing over the cute pink ballerinas, ta-da, my eyes fell upon the luscious lime green tube dress and then there was a blue in it and even a red and before someone else could say anything I quickly asked the owner of the shop if she had one in pink! "I want it! It's mine! It's in my destiny! No one can take it from me! You must have it! You have one in lime green, tell me you have it in pink too!", I pleaded. And the gods smiled at me that day. And she had one in pink, neatly tucked in one of the suitcase for she had just got new stock from Hong Kong (or wherevertheymakeclothes.) But can you believe my luck? Yea, like me neither! :)
And hopefully if I keep telling myself that another 1000 times, I might even build courage enough to look myself in the mirror. Hopefully. Yes, I feel very cheerful indeed.
*****
That said, I bought a pink tube dress and a multi-coloured (More of a hot pink) strappy number for my birthday and pink and black glittery ballerinas. Much excitement. Also I am regularly exercising these days. So soon I shall sport a flat tummy. And what do you know, I might even get myself a brand new haircut! Aren't birthdays awesome? I know!
Talking about the pink tube dress, remember I went to some club in salwar kameez? There I spotted a girl in a pink tube dress and I loved it and I so wanted it. And I hunted every shop and boutique and every website for that same dress but no luck. And then Munira and I were walking back to the car after a nice lunch and we spot a quaint little boutique and we're are like, "hey this place looks good. Let's check it out". And what do you know? While Munira was cooing over the cute pink ballerinas, ta-da, my eyes fell upon the luscious lime green tube dress and then there was a blue in it and even a red and before someone else could say anything I quickly asked the owner of the shop if she had one in pink! "I want it! It's mine! It's in my destiny! No one can take it from me! You must have it! You have one in lime green, tell me you have it in pink too!", I pleaded. And the gods smiled at me that day. And she had one in pink, neatly tucked in one of the suitcase for she had just got new stock from Hong Kong (or wherevertheymakeclothes.) But can you believe my luck? Yea, like me neither! :)
An Ugly...
A part of me loved you because you made me feel like I was a good person. Something I have struggled with all my life. And you did it with such ease, reassure me. Few words, a smile, a look, that's all it took.
Just A Perfect Day,
Drink Sangria In The Park,
And Then Later, When It Gets Dark,
We Go Home.
Just A Perfect Day,
Feed Animals In The Zoo
Then Later, A Movie, Too,
And Then Home.
Oh It's Such A Perfect Day,
I'm Glad I Spent It With You.
Oh Such A Perfect Day,
You Just Keep Me Hanging On,
You Just Keep Me Hanging On.
Just A Perfect Day,
Problems All Left Alone,
Weekenders On Our Own.
It's Such Fun.
Just A Perfect Day,
You Made Me Forget Myself.
I Thought I Was Someone Else,
Someone Good.
Oh It's Such A Perfect Day,
I'm Glad I Spent It With You.
Oh Such A Perfect Day,
You Just Keep Me Hanging On,
You Just Keep Me Hanging On.
You're Going To Reap Just What You Sow,
You're Going To Reap Just What You Sow,
You're Going To Reap Just What You Sow,
You're Going To Reap Just What You Sow...
Just A Perfect Day,
Drink Sangria In The Park,
And Then Later, When It Gets Dark,
We Go Home.
Just A Perfect Day,
Feed Animals In The Zoo
Then Later, A Movie, Too,
And Then Home.
Oh It's Such A Perfect Day,
I'm Glad I Spent It With You.
Oh Such A Perfect Day,
You Just Keep Me Hanging On,
You Just Keep Me Hanging On.
Just A Perfect Day,
Problems All Left Alone,
Weekenders On Our Own.
It's Such Fun.
Just A Perfect Day,
You Made Me Forget Myself.
I Thought I Was Someone Else,
Someone Good.
Oh It's Such A Perfect Day,
I'm Glad I Spent It With You.
Oh Such A Perfect Day,
You Just Keep Me Hanging On,
You Just Keep Me Hanging On.
You're Going To Reap Just What You Sow,
You're Going To Reap Just What You Sow,
You're Going To Reap Just What You Sow,
You're Going To Reap Just What You Sow...
December 22, 2010
A Lonely Corner...
Change your heart
Look around you
Change your heart
It will astound you
I need your lovin'
Like the sunshine
Everybody's gotta learn sometime
Everybody's gotta learn sometime
Everybody's gotta learn sometime
Change your heart
Look around you
Change your heart
Will astound you
I need your lovin'
Like the sunshine
Everybody's gotta learn sometime
Everybody's gotta learn sometime
Everybody's gotta learn sometime
I need your lovin'
Like the sunshine
Everybody's gotta learn sometime
Everybody's gotta learn sometime
Everybody's gotta learn sometime
Everybody's gotta learn sometime
Everybody's gotta learn sometime
Everybody's gotta learn sometime
Everybody's gotta learn sometime
Everybody's gotta learn sometime
Funny Tomatoes...
How you treat those who love(romantic) you but whom you don't is the real test of nice. And by that standard, I am a real horrible girl#ConfessionOfTheDay
A Fish Who Wanted To Fly...
Never the one for small talk, she finally asked him,"Why did you say yes?"
"I fell in love with your smile. And you?"
"Well, my dreams got lonely."
"I fell in love with your smile. And you?"
"Well, my dreams got lonely."
Santa On Wheels...
It's when you can't control what your fingers type, that you know what you're heart really yearns for.
*****
I will not do what you expect me to do.
That will be my triumph and that will be the cause of my fall. That will be me.
*****
If misery was some sort of drug, I'd be snorting it everyday.
*****
If I would sell my dreams, I'd be rich. There'd be many buyers. There'd be an auction and the highest bidder would be the king of Neverland.
But I'll keep them, my dreams, and die poor.
*****
We will. One day. That's a promise. And I'll be wearing pink.
*****
I will not do what you expect me to do.
That will be my triumph and that will be the cause of my fall. That will be me.
*****
If misery was some sort of drug, I'd be snorting it everyday.
*****
If I would sell my dreams, I'd be rich. There'd be many buyers. There'd be an auction and the highest bidder would be the king of Neverland.
But I'll keep them, my dreams, and die poor.
*****
We will. One day. That's a promise. And I'll be wearing pink.
December 20, 2010
A River Runs Through My Heart...
Video
Even if you were a million miles away
I could still feel you in my bed
near me, touch me, feel me
And even in the bottom of the sea
I can still hear inside my head
Telling me, touch me, feel me
And all the time you were telling me lies
So tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you
Tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you
I’m gonna hold on to the times that we had
Tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you
Have you ever tried sleeping with a broken heart?
Well you can try sleeping in my bed
Lonely, only, nobody ever shut it down like you
You wore the crown, you make my body feel heaven-bound
Why don’t you hold me, need me, I thought you told me
You’d never leave me
Looking in the sky I can see your face
And i knew right where I’d fit in
Take me, make me
You know that I’ll always be in love with you
Right til the end
So tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you
Tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you
I’m gonna hold onto the times that we had
Tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you
Anybody could have told you right from the start
It’s bout fall apart
So rather than hold onto a broken dream
Or just hold onto love
And I could find a way to make it
Don’t hold on too tight
I’ll make it without you tonight
So tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you
Tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you
I’m gonna hold onto the times that we had
Tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you
Even if you were a million miles away
I could still feel you in my bed
near me, touch me, feel me
And even in the bottom of the sea
I can still hear inside my head
Telling me, touch me, feel me
And all the time you were telling me lies
So tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you
Tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you
I’m gonna hold on to the times that we had
Tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you
Have you ever tried sleeping with a broken heart?
Well you can try sleeping in my bed
Lonely, only, nobody ever shut it down like you
You wore the crown, you make my body feel heaven-bound
Why don’t you hold me, need me, I thought you told me
You’d never leave me
Looking in the sky I can see your face
And i knew right where I’d fit in
Take me, make me
You know that I’ll always be in love with you
Right til the end
So tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you
Tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you
I’m gonna hold onto the times that we had
Tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you
Anybody could have told you right from the start
It’s bout fall apart
So rather than hold onto a broken dream
Or just hold onto love
And I could find a way to make it
Don’t hold on too tight
I’ll make it without you tonight
So tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you
Tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you
I’m gonna hold onto the times that we had
Tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you
December 19, 2010
A Butterfly Heart...
Either our dreams come true or then we find reasons to be okay with them not coming true. I guess, it's a way of consoling oneself. But nevertheless, a very good way.
You and me will be lying side by side...
Forever, forever...
Underneath this adolescent sky...
Together, together...
And you will hold my heart inside your hand...
And you'll be the one, the one to tell me...
Oh, we've got a long, long way to go...
To get there, we'll get there...
But oh, if there's one thing that we know...
It's that we will not grow old...
I made you swear that our hearts will never die...
No never, no never...
Cause no one seems to believe that we can fly...
Forget them, forget them...
Oh, you told me...
Oh, we've got a long, long way to go...
To get there, yeah we'll get there...
But oh, if there's one thing that we know...
It's that we will not grow old...
We've got a long, long way to go...
To get there, we'll get there...
But oh, if there's one thing that we know...
It's that we will not grow old...
Oh, how could we know that day, it came with age...
That oh, the feeling would fade...
Oh, we've got a long, long way to go...
To get there, we'll get there...
But, oh, if there's one thing that we know...
It's that we will not grow old...
Oh, we've got a long, long way to go...
To get there, yeah we'll get there...
But, oh, if there's one thing that we know...
It's that we will not grow old...
No, we will not grow old...
We won't grow old...
No, no, we will not grow old...
No, we will not grow old...
We will not grow old...
You and me will be lying side by side...
Forever, forever...
Underneath this adolescent sky...
Together, together...
And you will hold my heart inside your hand...
And you'll be the one, the one to tell me...
Oh, we've got a long, long way to go...
To get there, we'll get there...
But oh, if there's one thing that we know...
It's that we will not grow old...
I made you swear that our hearts will never die...
No never, no never...
Cause no one seems to believe that we can fly...
Forget them, forget them...
Oh, you told me...
Oh, we've got a long, long way to go...
To get there, yeah we'll get there...
But oh, if there's one thing that we know...
It's that we will not grow old...
We've got a long, long way to go...
To get there, we'll get there...
But oh, if there's one thing that we know...
It's that we will not grow old...
Oh, how could we know that day, it came with age...
That oh, the feeling would fade...
Oh, we've got a long, long way to go...
To get there, we'll get there...
But, oh, if there's one thing that we know...
It's that we will not grow old...
Oh, we've got a long, long way to go...
To get there, yeah we'll get there...
But, oh, if there's one thing that we know...
It's that we will not grow old...
No, we will not grow old...
We won't grow old...
No, no, we will not grow old...
No, we will not grow old...
We will not grow old...
Love Kills...
She had many lovers. But slowly, she killed them all, one by one. She now spends her days reading their unsent letters.
*****
His kisses whispered to her often. Whispered stories of love and lust. Long after he was dead.
*****
The lovers met on a no-moon night for a picnic. Bathed in the light of their love, they drank from each others lips and feasted on each other's skin and bones.
*****
After dragging the heavy stones of lies and deception through the garden of love, he stood at the door step, drenched in the blood of her dreams. He looked at her barren face one last time and gave her a letter along with a bottle of sleeping pills.
*****
She sits in her tower afraid to meet the kings and princes. They wait for her, enticing her with magical stories and perfumed gifts and rainbow flowers. But she refuses them all and sits in her tower, afraid that she might fall in love.
*****
His kisses whispered to her often. Whispered stories of love and lust. Long after he was dead.
*****
The lovers met on a no-moon night for a picnic. Bathed in the light of their love, they drank from each others lips and feasted on each other's skin and bones.
*****
After dragging the heavy stones of lies and deception through the garden of love, he stood at the door step, drenched in the blood of her dreams. He looked at her barren face one last time and gave her a letter along with a bottle of sleeping pills.
*****
She sits in her tower afraid to meet the kings and princes. They wait for her, enticing her with magical stories and perfumed gifts and rainbow flowers. But she refuses them all and sits in her tower, afraid that she might fall in love.
December 18, 2010
A Shiny Nose...
As a kid, I loved X'mas time. It meant no studying and no classes and practicing for carols and decorating the school and doing all fun things. And I loved Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. It was my favourite. Poor Rudolph I used to think, no one wants to play with him. And how happy I was when I heard that he gets to be Santa's Reindeer. And I loved saying, "like a light bulb" after "had a shiny nose". I remember making silver stars and decorating the X'mas tree in school and and how I loved going to the church. I never liked Diwali as much, come to think of it. Funny.
December 17, 2010
Mrs.November...
And if 10 years down the line we meet again
We'll talk about the hot weather
And complain about the traffic
And we'll argue where to lunch
And pretend like nothing happened
And we'll be happy just to sit next to each other
And if tomorrow we should never meet
Don't worry, cause we'll be fine
Where ever we be
You and I, we'll be just fine
We'll talk about the hot weather
And complain about the traffic
And we'll argue where to lunch
And pretend like nothing happened
And we'll be happy just to sit next to each other
And if tomorrow we should never meet
Don't worry, cause we'll be fine
Where ever we be
You and I, we'll be just fine
December 16, 2010
Banjo...
Some days are strange. There's so much happening in the day all at once, you don't know what to make of anything. And all that busyness should keep you occupied, but it doesn't.
*****
And just like that, out of the blue, like a bolt of lightening it struck me. I know what happened. I let you be larger than life, I put you on the pedestal, I looked up at you, I believed you were better than me. That's what happened. That's what went wrong.
*****
Sometimes I just love men so much, I want to turn into a guy myself. Men, you are awesome.
*****
And just like that, out of the blue, like a bolt of lightening it struck me. I know what happened. I let you be larger than life, I put you on the pedestal, I looked up at you, I believed you were better than me. That's what happened. That's what went wrong.
*****
Sometimes I just love men so much, I want to turn into a guy myself. Men, you are awesome.
December 15, 2010
Caught In The Net...
So today was dedicated for Munira's wedding shopping and I bought two awesome sarees and I can't wait to flaunt them! :D Wheeeeeeeee! Okay so, one is baby pink and the other is in hot pink colour. Yes, I bought PINK sarees! :D Yay, yay, yay!
And like always I forgot about the details. Details like what you say? Well, I just realised that both the awesome sarees are made of net material, and well that's all fine. The real problem is that I have only 15 days left to get a liposuction. Or else everyone at Munira's wedding is going to get a full view of my awesome tummy. Yep. That's ofcourse, if she lets me enter the wedding hall in those sarees, in the first place.
Anyway, so when I told mom I am buying sarees for Munira's wedding instead of lengha's, she was more than happy. According to mothers, once a girl wears a saree, she's ready for marriage. I bought my first saree in 2004 for my sister's wedding. But my mom is still hopeful. What can I say?
You know it's only when you go to the markets, the real markets of India, do you realize how the not-so-well-off live and buy. Shopping in the malls has insulated us from the harsher realities that exist a few kilometers away from those malls. We buy in AC malls, with music and assistants to help you, and where you don't have to lug around heavy bags, you instead have carts or then bags with wheels that you can drag around.
But you buy from these markets and you realise, in that whole chaos which defines the Indian markets, how lucky you are.
And while we are on the topic of buying, I bought bananas on the way today. I mostly never bought any groceries (though I can bargain real well :D), dad or mom always did. I only bought the "gourmet" vegetables for the likes of pasta and pizza, that too from the gourmet shops, and so I went to the market like after a long time and good god! Bananas are 30 rupees a dozen? What the hell happened? Did all bananas go to heaven? And my favourite oranges? They're 100 rupees a dozen! Even a litre of petrol is cheaper! I remember buying them oranges at 40/- a dozen last winter. If someone like me finds 100 rupees a dozen for oranges costly, what do the poor eat?
And we girls really need to learn the art of saving from our mothers. I mean, look at us! We have regular incomes and good incomes for that matter and we never save anything. I don't know what happens to my money. It comes and goes. And I am like, erm, yes I have been working for 4 years now, what happened to all that money? I guess I need to open my wardrobe and look inside. Yes, I need to learn how to save from mother. Our stay-at-home moms never had regular incomes like we do, but still they managed to save so much, and we? We don't even know what happens to our money. Shameful.
And so it's decided. 2011 new year resolution is: Learn the art of saving. Yep. I'll be a rich woman someday.
And like always I forgot about the details. Details like what you say? Well, I just realised that both the awesome sarees are made of net material, and well that's all fine. The real problem is that I have only 15 days left to get a liposuction. Or else everyone at Munira's wedding is going to get a full view of my awesome tummy. Yep. That's ofcourse, if she lets me enter the wedding hall in those sarees, in the first place.
Anyway, so when I told mom I am buying sarees for Munira's wedding instead of lengha's, she was more than happy. According to mothers, once a girl wears a saree, she's ready for marriage. I bought my first saree in 2004 for my sister's wedding. But my mom is still hopeful. What can I say?
You know it's only when you go to the markets, the real markets of India, do you realize how the not-so-well-off live and buy. Shopping in the malls has insulated us from the harsher realities that exist a few kilometers away from those malls. We buy in AC malls, with music and assistants to help you, and where you don't have to lug around heavy bags, you instead have carts or then bags with wheels that you can drag around.
But you buy from these markets and you realise, in that whole chaos which defines the Indian markets, how lucky you are.
And while we are on the topic of buying, I bought bananas on the way today. I mostly never bought any groceries (though I can bargain real well :D), dad or mom always did. I only bought the "gourmet" vegetables for the likes of pasta and pizza, that too from the gourmet shops, and so I went to the market like after a long time and good god! Bananas are 30 rupees a dozen? What the hell happened? Did all bananas go to heaven? And my favourite oranges? They're 100 rupees a dozen! Even a litre of petrol is cheaper! I remember buying them oranges at 40/- a dozen last winter. If someone like me finds 100 rupees a dozen for oranges costly, what do the poor eat?
And we girls really need to learn the art of saving from our mothers. I mean, look at us! We have regular incomes and good incomes for that matter and we never save anything. I don't know what happens to my money. It comes and goes. And I am like, erm, yes I have been working for 4 years now, what happened to all that money? I guess I need to open my wardrobe and look inside. Yes, I need to learn how to save from mother. Our stay-at-home moms never had regular incomes like we do, but still they managed to save so much, and we? We don't even know what happens to our money. Shameful.
And so it's decided. 2011 new year resolution is: Learn the art of saving. Yep. I'll be a rich woman someday.
A Marigold...
It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.
--Friedrich Nietzsche
--Friedrich Nietzsche
December 14, 2010
December 13, 2010
Where Men Rule Over Gods...
On a cold wintry night like this, I snuggle up to you and you wrap your arms around me. We don't have much, but the love in your eyes is enough to keep me warm. And you look down at me, and you see the same warmth in my eyes and you smile. I ask you to tell me a story. I love your stories. And you pretend to think for a moment and I help you with suggestions. Not the dragon one you say, haven't I told you that like a 100 times already? But I love that one I say. And you know you are going to end up telling me the dragon one today. You kiss me on the lips and we settle down comfortably in each other arms. I am all ears, intently looking up at you and you have a smile on your lips. And then you begin telling me the story. I imagine you walking through the jungles, and fighting with the tiger and the bears and killing the Lion Witch with a deer's antler. And I hug you closer when you tell me about the bandits who kept you in the dungeon for days without any food. You see the tears rolling down my cheek and you tell me about the Fairies who helped you cross the River of Fire and I feel better knowing there was someone to help you, that you were not alone. And I even tease you about the Water Nymph who helped you cross the Eleven Rivers and reach the Tree of Fate. I know you come across the dragon Nidhog and the giant Odin next, there's a seriousness in your voice, a tremble. And I feel a chill, when you, staring into the space, tell me how at times you thought you would never make it alive. How you fought for days, months, till the leaves turned yellow and the Eleven Rivers froze. And the cold claws at my heart with the thought of losing you, what would I do without you? But then the wolves Mirmir and Skoll bring you the Flaming Sword and how proud I am when you tell me how you wrestled with the giant and slew the dragon with the Flaming Sword. And I clap like a little girl when you finally kill the giant. And you laugh and tell me about the happy part, where you cross the Rainbow Bridge and meet the Five Old Ladies who help you find the Tower. And then you rescue me from the Tower and how happy I was to see you again. We both go quiet, each thinking about the painful times when we were separated. The uncertain times when I waited for you with nothing but hope and you struggled to even stay alive. How I missed you. I rest my head on your chest and you kiss the top of my head and ask me to tell you a story. Your turn now you say. But I have only one story to tell I say. But you persist knowing I can never say no to you for anything. So we settle down again in each others arms and I tell you a story; the story of Prince Charming.
Tik-Tok...
I oscillate between hope and despair like...like the way only I can.
*****
And I should totally write a book now-"How not to screw up at 26". I think there will be many takers, no?
*****
Everybody telling me to get married because I am 26 now and time is slipping by, quit it. Cause I am not quitting on my dreams, however irrational they may be.
And if nothing, I can always be the favourite aunt your kids would visit during their summer holidays. I could read to them and tell them all sorts of wonderful stories, and I could bake the best chocolate cake for them and I could teach the girls to garden and knit and play the piano and I could teach the boys how to impress the ladies. See? Your kids will love me.
Erm, alright, maybe not.
*****
There's no place harsher for a woman than women's loo. From the second she enters the loo, till the time she leaves, she is put under the microscope. Right from her hair to the colour of her toenail paint, everything is judged. She has no respite from the overcritical and unrelenting appraisal and the opinions that follow. Nothing is verbally said, not oh-so-loud atleast, but opinions are conveyed none the less.
I don't think two women staring into the same mirror can ever be friends. They'll smile at each other and chat about the latest mascara in the market, but as soon as one turns her back, the other will snigger. Ah, it is a bad bad place to be.
Funny then, that women should spend so much time in the loo.
*****
And I find it funnier that men all the world will miss their breakfast or skip lunch and the woman will find herself forcing him to eat. "You didn't eat lunch?!" *gasp* "You must eat something now! Why can't you ever take care of your health! blah-blah-blah! You always skip your breakfast as well! some more blah-blah-blah". And the guy will simply say, "I didn't feel like eating/I didn't get time, was busy/ I picked up a coke on the way/Stop fussing", and then the woman will get furious and further insist he eat.
Yours truly has done it. Sometimes I cringe and sometimes I feel it's justified. And I find it hypocritical of me that although I, myself, have missed meals several times, on several occasions, the woman in me just can not see anyone else hungry.
But *sigh*, I need to stop mothering. If you don't want to eat, well, stay hungry, let's talk about sex instead.
*****
And I should totally write a book now-"How not to screw up at 26". I think there will be many takers, no?
*****
Everybody telling me to get married because I am 26 now and time is slipping by, quit it. Cause I am not quitting on my dreams, however irrational they may be.
And if nothing, I can always be the favourite aunt your kids would visit during their summer holidays. I could read to them and tell them all sorts of wonderful stories, and I could bake the best chocolate cake for them and I could teach the girls to garden and knit and play the piano and I could teach the boys how to impress the ladies. See? Your kids will love me.
Erm, alright, maybe not.
*****
There's no place harsher for a woman than women's loo. From the second she enters the loo, till the time she leaves, she is put under the microscope. Right from her hair to the colour of her toenail paint, everything is judged. She has no respite from the overcritical and unrelenting appraisal and the opinions that follow. Nothing is verbally said, not oh-so-loud atleast, but opinions are conveyed none the less.
I don't think two women staring into the same mirror can ever be friends. They'll smile at each other and chat about the latest mascara in the market, but as soon as one turns her back, the other will snigger. Ah, it is a bad bad place to be.
Funny then, that women should spend so much time in the loo.
*****
And I find it funnier that men all the world will miss their breakfast or skip lunch and the woman will find herself forcing him to eat. "You didn't eat lunch?!" *gasp* "You must eat something now! Why can't you ever take care of your health! blah-blah-blah! You always skip your breakfast as well! some more blah-blah-blah". And the guy will simply say, "I didn't feel like eating/I didn't get time, was busy/ I picked up a coke on the way/Stop fussing", and then the woman will get furious and further insist he eat.
Yours truly has done it. Sometimes I cringe and sometimes I feel it's justified. And I find it hypocritical of me that although I, myself, have missed meals several times, on several occasions, the woman in me just can not see anyone else hungry.
But *sigh*, I need to stop mothering. If you don't want to eat, well, stay hungry, let's talk about sex instead.
December 12, 2010
The Bridges Of Life...
Most people love with their heart. I want to love with my mind, soul and heart.
*****
I really want to go back to being 22 today. I don't think I have ever felt so desperate to bring the old days back. Ever.
*****
I have always gone after the wrong things, wrong people. I have wasted all these years, chasing all the wrong things.
And it crushes me to know that.
*****
I have always been a dreamer. I have always dreamt of another world that does not exist and I fear, never will.
*****
I really want to go back to being 22 today. I don't think I have ever felt so desperate to bring the old days back. Ever.
*****
I have always gone after the wrong things, wrong people. I have wasted all these years, chasing all the wrong things.
And it crushes me to know that.
*****
I have always been a dreamer. I have always dreamt of another world that does not exist and I fear, never will.
December 11, 2010
Polka Dots...
Jaan bhi lete ho aur zinda rahe yeh dua bhi karte ho. Kya hai tumhara pyaar aur kaisi tumhari nafrat!
*****
In other news, lingerie brands in India need to do a fresh market research on what "women in India want". If anyone out there is listening: Hello, you all make crappy underwear.
Look, underwear with floral designs? Very nice, but we don't want crappy flowery designs. You know the big gaudy maroon flowers with blue leaves? Yes, please get new designers.
I can never understand why Indian lingerie brands, even some international brands selling in India, can never get lingerie/nightwear right. Really! How difficult must it be to design a sexy underwear or a cute pajama? Very, apparently.
P.S: Not all Indian women have heavy bottoms, you know what I mean? The pajamas in stores look like they were made for baby elephants.
*****
In other news, lingerie brands in India need to do a fresh market research on what "women in India want". If anyone out there is listening: Hello, you all make crappy underwear.
Look, underwear with floral designs? Very nice, but we don't want crappy flowery designs. You know the big gaudy maroon flowers with blue leaves? Yes, please get new designers.
I can never understand why Indian lingerie brands, even some international brands selling in India, can never get lingerie/nightwear right. Really! How difficult must it be to design a sexy underwear or a cute pajama? Very, apparently.
P.S: Not all Indian women have heavy bottoms, you know what I mean? The pajamas in stores look like they were made for baby elephants.
Not A Cakewalk...
A couple a kids are playing football. One of them kicks the ball real hard and instead falls flat on his face, the balls goes off in some other direction, all other kids run behind the ball. The one that fell down, looks around, picks himself, dusts himself and runs behind the ball too. Like nothing happened. But something happened. He got a glimpse of what life ahead would be for him, a guy.
Imagine the same scenario with a bunch of girls instead. I can't stop laughing thinking how much fuss we girls would make if someone falls down. We'll forget the ball, and rush to pick her up, dust her up, check if she was badly bruised, comfort her, make appropriate noises if she voices her concerns about the "scars" and how unsightly it would look, and then maybe, resume the play. If nothing, we'll definitely not act like nothing happened. We're just not trained that way.
Guys I think are far better prepared for life, than girls. Punch a guy in the face and he'll do two things, he'll punch you back or then punch you back. Punch a girl, ha, that never happens. And when that does happen, she does not know what to do. Maybe go crying to dad, brother, guy friend or then boyfriend. Or cry about it with girlfriends.
What when she has no one to look after her? She's left clueless and bleeding.
Imagine the same scenario with a bunch of girls instead. I can't stop laughing thinking how much fuss we girls would make if someone falls down. We'll forget the ball, and rush to pick her up, dust her up, check if she was badly bruised, comfort her, make appropriate noises if she voices her concerns about the "scars" and how unsightly it would look, and then maybe, resume the play. If nothing, we'll definitely not act like nothing happened. We're just not trained that way.
Guys I think are far better prepared for life, than girls. Punch a guy in the face and he'll do two things, he'll punch you back or then punch you back. Punch a girl, ha, that never happens. And when that does happen, she does not know what to do. Maybe go crying to dad, brother, guy friend or then boyfriend. Or cry about it with girlfriends.
What when she has no one to look after her? She's left clueless and bleeding.
Orphaned...
So it would seem that Life does not trust my choices. It insists on holding my hand and leading me. I want to break free its clasp and walk my own way. It does not let me do so. So here we are, here on the street, warring, bickering, fighting like spouses in an abusive marriage. "Let go of me", I plead with Life. But Life? It has its own plans, it drags me through the dust, afraid to separate, it tells me to go take a hike, cause, Life my dear, has stopped listening to me.
Where are you taking me Life? Where?
PS: I have a new blog title! :)
Where are you taking me Life? Where?
PS: I have a new blog title! :)
Some More Snow...
Sometimes life will be such a super scheming bitch, you end up smiling. Well, good one, life. But I am not quitting just yet.
December 10, 2010
Stripper-hunt...
Psssst, did you know an Indian male stripper in Mumbai costs you a cool 25k? And a phirang one 45k?
December 09, 2010
I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas...
And, a multi-coloured bra. A yellow dress. A flatter stomach. A big bag of gold biscuits and erm, a 2-bedroom flat with a balcony in Andheri please.
Unsent Letters...
I think I fell a little in love with you when you read that story to me in the bus. No one has ever read to me. And you reading that story to me, in Hindi, it is without a doubt one of the most beautiful things I have ever heard. And the memory of it still makes me smile.
(Inspired from this. Do read.)
(Inspired from this. Do read.)
December 07, 2010
Plateway To Heaven...
OMG. I just died and went to crockery heaven. Look at this picture!
(click to enlarge)
This picture was clicked by a friend who's travelling to Istanbul. And those aren't plates love, those are pieces art! Orgasmically beautiful pieces of art that you could actually use!
Remember this scene from SATC2? Well, ofcourse a closet like that would make any woman go weak in her knees...but but...what would seal the deal for me would be a beautiful kitchen. A big cream-coloured sun drenched kitchen, with French windows that'll open to a herb garden outside, a big oak dinning table and a kitchen island with a wine rack in the centre, a wrought iron pot rack with gleaming copper pots and a plates cabinet just for beautiful crockery. And I would so wear a beautiful white dress and look pretty and serve you hot piping food in those plates. And we could have hot soup in those soup bowls and I would pour tea from one of those colourful teapots and we could have our evening tea in those dainty little rainbow teacups and won't life be beautiful then? Wouldn't you say you're in heaven then? Won't you love life? And won't you hear the butterflies sing? And the flowers dance and the sky smile? Won't you love? Won't you?
Sigh, I so need to stop dreaming and get back to the "real world". Oohhh, someone buy me somecrockery porcelain for heaven's sake! Or atleast take me to Istanbul! I'll buy those plates myself. Sniff.
Cruel, cruel, cruel world!
Yes, I'll get back to work now. Thank you.
This picture was clicked by a friend who's travelling to Istanbul. And those aren't plates love, those are pieces art! Orgasmically beautiful pieces of art that you could actually use!
Remember this scene from SATC2? Well, ofcourse a closet like that would make any woman go weak in her knees...but but...what would seal the deal for me would be a beautiful kitchen. A big cream-coloured sun drenched kitchen, with French windows that'll open to a herb garden outside, a big oak dinning table and a kitchen island with a wine rack in the centre, a wrought iron pot rack with gleaming copper pots and a plates cabinet just for beautiful crockery. And I would so wear a beautiful white dress and look pretty and serve you hot piping food in those plates. And we could have hot soup in those soup bowls and I would pour tea from one of those colourful teapots and we could have our evening tea in those dainty little rainbow teacups and won't life be beautiful then? Wouldn't you say you're in heaven then? Won't you love life? And won't you hear the butterflies sing? And the flowers dance and the sky smile? Won't you love? Won't you?
Sigh, I so need to stop dreaming and get back to the "real world". Oohhh, someone buy me some
Cruel, cruel, cruel world!
Yes, I'll get back to work now. Thank you.
Are We Breaking Up Again?
We'll be sitting in the summer sun and before you know, I'll burst into a million pink petals and I'll fly away with the breeze. Away. From the glorious you.
*****
I am lusting after Oranges. Mandarin Oranges.
*****
And that reminds me, Winter is here. And my lower lip looks like a pink orange.
*****
I missed you today, so I packed you a lunch. I hope you liked it.
*****
I painted my nails yellow. I feel 16 again. Yay? Yay.
*****
Is a woman beautiful only if men find her beautiful?
Does a woman's perspective matter at all?
*****
The sheer stupidity on this planet amazes me. Sometimes I wonder if expecting basic, bare minimum intelligence from people is asking for too much.
*****
Sometimes I wonder if I am stuck in a really bad novel.
*****
I have come to realise that I don't like very good people. I just can't stand the very nice, chaste, extremely moral ones. I like them with a hint of bad. I guess I can never really be friends with the lilly white or the sweet soul or the white knight. I will care for them, I will even be nice to them, but the one I love will always have a little darkness, a little black, a dirty spot.
The rose with the thorns. The beautiful lotus that grows in the muddy pond. The garden with the snake.
I feel comfortable around them.
*****
I am lusting after Oranges. Mandarin Oranges.
*****
And that reminds me, Winter is here. And my lower lip looks like a pink orange.
*****
I missed you today, so I packed you a lunch. I hope you liked it.
*****
I painted my nails yellow. I feel 16 again. Yay? Yay.
*****
Is a woman beautiful only if men find her beautiful?
Does a woman's perspective matter at all?
*****
The sheer stupidity on this planet amazes me. Sometimes I wonder if expecting basic, bare minimum intelligence from people is asking for too much.
*****
Sometimes I wonder if I am stuck in a really bad novel.
*****
I have come to realise that I don't like very good people. I just can't stand the very nice, chaste, extremely moral ones. I like them with a hint of bad. I guess I can never really be friends with the lilly white or the sweet soul or the white knight. I will care for them, I will even be nice to them, but the one I love will always have a little darkness, a little black, a dirty spot.
The rose with the thorns. The beautiful lotus that grows in the muddy pond. The garden with the snake.
I feel comfortable around them.
December 05, 2010
Can We Have A Pillow Fight?
If I count all the weddings I need to attend this December, December 2010, the count would probably cross 20. Not a surprise really, we are 27 already. I don't squeal with happiness when a girlfriend tells me she's getting married or act surprised when a guy friend says he's hitched. Marriage is now a fact of life. And every time I look at their pictures, honeymoon pictures, Bangkok and Rajasthan and Kerala and Mauritius, a strange feeling takes over. That sunrise, those cocktail shrimps, those flowers, that white neatly tucked bed, those are not ordinary pictures. Those are once in a life moments. Moments they waited for all their life. We all do. And maybe it's the wait that renders them beautiful.
Sigh. It feels like it was only yesterday, when I was listening to yet another Bryan Adams "Everything I do" dedication at the school fête and giggling. And now, everyone I know is getting married. I try not to make a big deal out of it, but it is a big deal. We've come such a long long way.
I feel positively ancient today. And alone.
*****
Will you dance with me
Take my hands and lead me,
With all my faults
In the ballroom waltz
That we might have done
Had we ever been young
It'll end in tears
But not for years
If you dance with me
Will you dance with me,
Me, with two left feet
You'd be showing me how
I'm no dancer now
But soon you and I
Could step into the sky
We'll go down in flames,
Of course, but love remains
If you dance with me
I'll make only sunny weather for you
The sky will be blue forever
I'll make only sunny weather for you
To keep me and you together
And you'll dance with me
In the rain, maybe
But we won't really mind
In the end we'll find
It was just a dance
And our little romance
It'll fall to dust
But only just
If you dance with me
It'll fall to dust
But only just
If you dance with me
Sigh. It feels like it was only yesterday, when I was listening to yet another Bryan Adams "Everything I do" dedication at the school fête and giggling. And now, everyone I know is getting married. I try not to make a big deal out of it, but it is a big deal. We've come such a long long way.
I feel positively ancient today. And alone.
*****
Will you dance with me
Take my hands and lead me,
With all my faults
In the ballroom waltz
That we might have done
Had we ever been young
It'll end in tears
But not for years
If you dance with me
Will you dance with me,
Me, with two left feet
You'd be showing me how
I'm no dancer now
But soon you and I
Could step into the sky
We'll go down in flames,
Of course, but love remains
If you dance with me
I'll make only sunny weather for you
The sky will be blue forever
I'll make only sunny weather for you
To keep me and you together
And you'll dance with me
In the rain, maybe
But we won't really mind
In the end we'll find
It was just a dance
And our little romance
It'll fall to dust
But only just
If you dance with me
It'll fall to dust
But only just
If you dance with me
December 04, 2010
A Hopeless Love...
Her beautiful eyes twinkled in the starlight and her laughter sounded like little bells.
He looked at her small face, her beautiful smile and smiled at her silly joke.
He goes to the balls and soirees with her and he picks her up promptly at 6 and he stays sober through the night so he can be sane enough to drop her back home.
She wants to walk home today. "I love the weather today, don't you?" she asks him. He nods. "Let's walk today." He carries her shawl for her and holds her hand when her shoe heel gets stuck on the cobbled street and he carries her purse when she gets tired walking.
He goes to the balls with her, but he stands at the side and watches her dance merrily with other men. She's an amazing dancer, how gracefully she moves, how delicately. He dreams of a private performance but they never stand close enough. He's the patient listener when she tells him about the new love in her life and he's the convenient warm shoulder when the new man breaks her heart, one more, once again.
She kisses him on the cheek at the doorstep and thanks him as always. "You're so kind", she says today, "Why can't other men be like you?" And she's pouts and bids him goodnight and be gone. He stays back and breathes in her lingering perfume. He looks at the full moon today and wonders, why can't he be like other men?
He goes home alone, as always. Tonight he'll drown himself in his favourite tumbler, for tonight will be the worst. Tomorrow she's leaves town. Ofcourse he'll go see her off at the station and take a bunch of flowers along for her. He'll tell her how much he'll miss her at the parties and ask her to keep in touch. She'll laugh her tinkling laughter then nod earnestly and tell him she'll miss him as well. And he'll know that he'll never see her again.
He looked at her small face, her beautiful smile and smiled at her silly joke.
He goes to the balls and soirees with her and he picks her up promptly at 6 and he stays sober through the night so he can be sane enough to drop her back home.
She wants to walk home today. "I love the weather today, don't you?" she asks him. He nods. "Let's walk today." He carries her shawl for her and holds her hand when her shoe heel gets stuck on the cobbled street and he carries her purse when she gets tired walking.
He goes to the balls with her, but he stands at the side and watches her dance merrily with other men. She's an amazing dancer, how gracefully she moves, how delicately. He dreams of a private performance but they never stand close enough. He's the patient listener when she tells him about the new love in her life and he's the convenient warm shoulder when the new man breaks her heart, one more, once again.
She kisses him on the cheek at the doorstep and thanks him as always. "You're so kind", she says today, "Why can't other men be like you?" And she's pouts and bids him goodnight and be gone. He stays back and breathes in her lingering perfume. He looks at the full moon today and wonders, why can't he be like other men?
He goes home alone, as always. Tonight he'll drown himself in his favourite tumbler, for tonight will be the worst. Tomorrow she's leaves town. Ofcourse he'll go see her off at the station and take a bunch of flowers along for her. He'll tell her how much he'll miss her at the parties and ask her to keep in touch. She'll laugh her tinkling laughter then nod earnestly and tell him she'll miss him as well. And he'll know that he'll never see her again.
Warm As Honey In The Sun...
A half full moon in Mexico City I think of you
And when I saw the Southern Cross I wished you had too
I wish my heart was as cold as the morning dew
But it's as warm as saxophones and honey in the sun for you
Oh, I've been spending half the year in a plane going up and down
And you've been seeing other people from a nearby town
Been obsessing and getting depressed about us
Excess baggage and other stupid band stuff
I wish my heart was cold but it's warmer than before
I wish my heart was as cold as the morning dew
But it's as warm as saxophones and honey in the sun for you
When you said the veins in my left hand were shaped like a tree
Was that the very last time you really looked at me
I'm in training to become as cold as ice
I'm determined to protect my feelings to disguise
When I said I didn't love you I told a lie
Because there is no one above you though I try
Would you laugh at the time I spent calling your name
Over and over and over and over again
I wish my heart was cold but it's warmer than before
I wish my heart was cold but it's warmer than before
I wish my heart was as cold as the morning dew
But it's as warm as saxophones and honey in the sun for you
The trouble is I got me close to hating me
And when I wake up in the morning it's your face I see
Oh, you once made me feel less afraid
You've got me pouring myself over this page
I wish my heart was cold but it's warmer than before
Ooh, I wish my heart was cold but it's warmer than before
I wish my heart was as cold as the morning dew
But it's as warm as saxophones and honey in the sun for you
I wish my heart was as cold as the morning dew
But it's as warm as saxophones and honey in the sun for you
Smile!
Oh what a beautiful beautiful story!
The power of a compliment. So often we forget. A genuine "thank you" and "you look so nice today" and a smile? What power it holds! What a huge huge difference it can make to a person's life. We all need a little validation from time to time. That we are good, we are beautiful, that we are helping make someone's life better. Tell someone something nice today. Smile at someone. Make someone feel beautiful today.
And start with the people around you. Maybe your parents, your friends, your partner, your colleagues. Maybe even yourself.
The power of a compliment. So often we forget. A genuine "thank you" and "you look so nice today" and a smile? What power it holds! What a huge huge difference it can make to a person's life. We all need a little validation from time to time. That we are good, we are beautiful, that we are helping make someone's life better. Tell someone something nice today. Smile at someone. Make someone feel beautiful today.
And start with the people around you. Maybe your parents, your friends, your partner, your colleagues. Maybe even yourself.
December 02, 2010
Pink Pin Cushions...
So every time I have fever and cold and bad throat and all those horrible things that happen only to good people (like me), I feel the need to write something mind-bogglingly intelligent, incase I never wake up from the drugs-induced sleep, you know, leave a legacy behind and all that? Eh?
So right baby-cakes, what do you think of this brilliant idea of having moving roads? See? I told you, mind-bogglingly intelligent I promised.
Ooooh let me elaborate. So you see, instead of having people drive/ride on bridges, and add to the slow-moving monstrous traffic, we can have a section of road, that is narrow and prone to traffic jams, that ta-da moves! Like those moving walkways/sidewalks at airports? Like a treadmill, just instead for vehicles. Isn't it brilliant? No more pesky riders who overtake you and no more slow moving vehicles that block the entire narrow lane. Problem solved. The world will be a better place. There will be world peace and no more hungry kids and no more sad butterflies and the clams can go back to being all gay and merry and the sky can go back to being its original candy floss pink dream. La-la-la, happy world.
That said, I can go back to sleep now.
So right baby-cakes, what do you think of this brilliant idea of having moving roads? See? I told you, mind-bogglingly intelligent I promised.
Ooooh let me elaborate. So you see, instead of having people drive/ride on bridges, and add to the slow-moving monstrous traffic, we can have a section of road, that is narrow and prone to traffic jams, that ta-da moves! Like those moving walkways/sidewalks at airports? Like a treadmill, just instead for vehicles. Isn't it brilliant? No more pesky riders who overtake you and no more slow moving vehicles that block the entire narrow lane. Problem solved. The world will be a better place. There will be world peace and no more hungry kids and no more sad butterflies and the clams can go back to being all gay and merry and the sky can go back to being its original candy floss pink dream. La-la-la, happy world.
That said, I can go back to sleep now.
December 01, 2010
November 23, 2010
Purple Boots...
So the prince and princess finally met after much struggle and many heartbreaks. It was a full moon night and they were finally together in the perfumed rose garden. Alone and intoxicated, they were eager for their lips to meet. For this kiss was destined.
And then suddenly the princess realised she had forgotten to floss.
And then suddenly the princess realised she had forgotten to floss.
November 20, 2010
"Anthem"
The birds they sang
at the break of day
Start again
I heard them say
Don't dwell on what
has passed away
or what is yet to be.
Ah the wars they will
be fought again
The holy dove
She will be caught again
bought and sold
and bought again
the dove is never free.
Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.
We asked for signs
the signs were sent:
the birth betrayed
the marriage spent
Yeah the widowhood
of every government --
signs for all to see.
I can't run no more
with that lawless crowd
while the killers in high places
say their prayers out loud.
But they've summoned, they've summoned up
a thundercloud
and they're going to hear from me.
Ring the bells that still can ring ...
You can add up the parts
but you won't have the sum
You can strike up the march,
there is no drum
Every heart, every heart
to love will come
but like a refugee.
Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.
Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.
That's how the light gets in.
That's how the light gets in.
A Portrait of Life...
Look at the lurking lioness...what a beautiful shot!
One day. I'll see these with my own eyes.
Train journeys.
What a handsome bird!
A burning moon?
Foot and Thistle. I love this shot.
Like a colourful painting. I could hang this on my bedroom wall.
Oasis.
I want to go there! One day.
Playthings.
Chopsticks.
Helpless.
Some more stunning shots at Nationalgeographic.
November 19, 2010
Gathering Dust...
From the archives,
"You think its easy to get a guy. most of them just look at me and think oh here's a piece of meat. soon enough they find that the piece of meat has feelings and my brain becomes a liability. I want to fall in love too you know but it becomes so damn hard to find someone who'll just hold you and accept you with all your flaws and idiosyncrasies. I mean sure I'm nice sometimes but I'm gonna be a pain too. And I'm looking for that person who would see the worst in me and still manage to say 'I've seen your worst but I'll help you get over it so that I never have to see it again' and really mean it. That's the sort of person I'm looking for. and that's the kind of person I don't find"
Cry Me A River Baby...
Next time I think I am emotional and extra sensitive, I am going to think about him. And all the men I know. And I'll feel better.
November 18, 2010
Stars...
"Why am I different from others?"
"Why, do you have to be like others?"
Simply beautiful.
The sky is vast enough for all of us to shine. And when we all shine, the sky will only look more beautiful.
"Why, do you have to be like others?"
Simply beautiful.
The sky is vast enough for all of us to shine. And when we all shine, the sky will only look more beautiful.
Don't Try...
Loved this. "Don't try"
Too many writers write for the wrong reasons. They want to get famous or they want to get rich or they want to get laid by the girls with bluebells in their hair. (Maybe that last ain't a bad idea).
When everything works best it's not because you chose writing but because writing chose you. It's when you're mad with it, it's when it's stuffed in your ears, your nostrils, under your fingernails. It's when there's no hope but that.
A Broken Horse By The River...
Okay, I am seriously tired of people asking me what my "relationship" status is. I am sick of it, bored and pissed off. In real life, I have always been a private person and I always will be (which is why this blog). So stop asking me these questions. Stop channelling Karan Johar and don't think I am stupid enough to fall for those sly lousy questions. I don't understand why people are so obsessed with others' love lives. Unless, unless, you are a good friend, in which case, trust me, I'l wake you up at 2am and tell you who makes me happy and who is making me cry. So really. STOP.
And what is wrong with the men? Where is the romance? These days they don't even wait for you to finish telling your name before coming out with, "your place or mine". Really. Men. NO!
And what is wrong with the men? Where is the romance? These days they don't even wait for you to finish telling your name before coming out with, "your place or mine". Really. Men. NO!
Erase...
Apple needs to make an iCringe app that somehow connects to your brain and deletes all your embarrassing, cringe-worthy memories. Like your dressing style in the past that you passed off as "latest fashion" or then orange-coloured lipstick, terrible hairstyles, your choice in men (really, what was I thinking falling for those men?), or then your MBA application essays. I cringe. What in the sweet loving name of God was I thinking? Uff!
November 17, 2010
The Love Language...
Daylight's coming, the sun is blazing
New beginnings seep into you
But in the end it's distant shadows
That finally overwhelm your senses
And this time around
Is it love that you crown?
And this time around
You'll be more than who you are
It is in you, to carry on
It is in you, to lay down fears that hold
It is in you, to find your way home
November 16, 2010
Kiddie Things...
1)I don't remember exactly how small I was, but Dad was in the hospital and I had gone to visit him with mum. And while mum went to get Dad's medicines, I went to play in the adjoining balcony. And within 5 mins Dad had to come rushing to the balcony to rescue me. I had got my head stuck between the bars.
I was also one of those kids who inserted her fingers through the grill of a running table fan. Also tried to stop a running ceiling fan by sticking a big rod between the blades. I am surprised I am alive.
2)I also successfully managed to lodge a big (fake) pearl in right nostril at a very small age and it took around 1/2 hour to get it out. Also choked on many coins from time to time.
3)For years I waited for a watermelon tree to sprout from my mouth. I was positive one day a watermelon would tree would grow in my stomach. After all, trees grew from seeds right?
4)As kids, I played alone and always made up stories where I was the central character, ofcourse. I loved draping sister's orange dupatta and playing the character of Sita.
If I only knew what a sucky love-life she had, I would have chosen a different character :|
5)I loved playing "teacher-teacher" and had a box of chalks and a black board and a duster, just like they had in school. I loved giving homework to my imaginary students and ofcourse everyone was punished with double homework if they failed to finish previous day's homework. I taught poems from those little prayer books they sold in school.
6)Every afternoon after I'd come home from school, I would first keep my bag in one particular corner, finish my school homework for the day and only then change and eat. Go to tuition class, come back home at 6 PM, finish tuition home work, light diya at 7 PM with mom and say my daily prayers and then watch news with Dad. Help mom with Dinner and sleep by 9PM. In later years after dinner I would promptly iron my washed pinafore and polish shoes for the next day and pack my bag and keep it ready.
I wish I was even 1/10th as disciplined now.
7)I was one of those kids who *had* to buy something during a trip to the market. I would, like all bad kids, sit on the road and cry my lungs out. You had to atleast buy a vegetable to make me quiet.
8)I was also one of those kids who insisted on wearing new shoes in the store itself. Parents always got the old ones packed while I immediately got to show off in new pair of shoes.
9)I loved Sundays as a kid. Every Sunday mom would make "special" breakfast and we'd all eat while watching Ramanand Sagar's Ramayan/Mahabharat.
10)Every morning a kingfisher bird would come and sit on the electricity wires in front of our balcony. Dad and I had this daily routine, where either one of us would check if he was there that morning. For years, every morning, that kingfisher bird would come, sit for sometime and then fly away.
I wonder if he knew we waited for him every morning.
11)As a kid, the only way you could get me to wear an underwear was if you'd let me have a tail too. So mum or cousin sister would hang a waist string (petticoat nada) from the underwear and I'd go around the house shouting "Jai Hanuman". Too much Ramayan obviously.
12)I had no friends growing up(till about 4th grade) and parents had to actually drag me to the playground and ask other kids to include me in the games. I wanted to instead study.
What are your kiddie memories like?
I was also one of those kids who inserted her fingers through the grill of a running table fan. Also tried to stop a running ceiling fan by sticking a big rod between the blades. I am surprised I am alive.
2)I also successfully managed to lodge a big (fake) pearl in right nostril at a very small age and it took around 1/2 hour to get it out. Also choked on many coins from time to time.
3)For years I waited for a watermelon tree to sprout from my mouth. I was positive one day a watermelon would tree would grow in my stomach. After all, trees grew from seeds right?
4)As kids, I played alone and always made up stories where I was the central character, ofcourse. I loved draping sister's orange dupatta and playing the character of Sita.
If I only knew what a sucky love-life she had, I would have chosen a different character :|
5)I loved playing "teacher-teacher" and had a box of chalks and a black board and a duster, just like they had in school. I loved giving homework to my imaginary students and ofcourse everyone was punished with double homework if they failed to finish previous day's homework. I taught poems from those little prayer books they sold in school.
6)Every afternoon after I'd come home from school, I would first keep my bag in one particular corner, finish my school homework for the day and only then change and eat. Go to tuition class, come back home at 6 PM, finish tuition home work, light diya at 7 PM with mom and say my daily prayers and then watch news with Dad. Help mom with Dinner and sleep by 9PM. In later years after dinner I would promptly iron my washed pinafore and polish shoes for the next day and pack my bag and keep it ready.
I wish I was even 1/10th as disciplined now.
7)I was one of those kids who *had* to buy something during a trip to the market. I would, like all bad kids, sit on the road and cry my lungs out. You had to atleast buy a vegetable to make me quiet.
8)I was also one of those kids who insisted on wearing new shoes in the store itself. Parents always got the old ones packed while I immediately got to show off in new pair of shoes.
9)I loved Sundays as a kid. Every Sunday mom would make "special" breakfast and we'd all eat while watching Ramanand Sagar's Ramayan/Mahabharat.
10)Every morning a kingfisher bird would come and sit on the electricity wires in front of our balcony. Dad and I had this daily routine, where either one of us would check if he was there that morning. For years, every morning, that kingfisher bird would come, sit for sometime and then fly away.
I wonder if he knew we waited for him every morning.
11)As a kid, the only way you could get me to wear an underwear was if you'd let me have a tail too. So mum or cousin sister would hang a waist string (petticoat nada) from the underwear and I'd go around the house shouting "Jai Hanuman". Too much Ramayan obviously.
12)I had no friends growing up(till about 4th grade) and parents had to actually drag me to the playground and ask other kids to include me in the games. I wanted to instead study.
What are your kiddie memories like?
Lucky Escape...
"I think of life as a good book. The further you get into it, the more it begins to make sense."- Harold S. Kushner
Sometimes it's good not to get the things you want. Sometimes, you are better off without them :)
Sometimes it's good not to get the things you want. Sometimes, you are better off without them :)
Proceed With Caution...
So today for the first time I broke my vow and used MC's and BC's while shouting at a guy on the road. A drunk taxi driver. And his bloodshot eyes should have scared me, ideally, but it just so frigging pissed me off that such *be prepared* low-IQ people are given license to drive! What does the government think driving is? Child's play? Our stupid corrupt RTO's are in a way responsible for all these road accidents! Yes, driving on Indian roads requires skill and very very high amount of intelligence. Every tom, dick and harry becomes a "driver" these days or then buys a motorcycle and starts riding on the roads. They know shit about traffic rules and they are not smart enough to intuitively know what "right of way" is. So hang me, but the only way to weed out such retards from the roads is by having stricter tests! And completely remove these so-called "agents" who through underhand means get you a license without you even having to sit for the test! I say, make these agents stand in the middle of the road and let these other idiots drive, let's see how many manage not to wet their pants! And ofcourse not to forget my own gender! I have seen women ride scooters with both their feet touching ground. WHY? Dear Aunty, if you can not bloody balance a two wheeler, you know what to do? Ofcourse you do not. So let me tell you, you don't ride a scooter in the first place! Practice first in your garden no? It's really simple. But clearly you are dumb enough not to understand such a simple thing. Why are these people take a chance with life? Have they no fucking brains at all? Or old uncles! And rich young 16 year old daddy's boys! Arghhhh....I can so murder someone right now :|
I think instead of teaching subjects like "moral education", the government and all private schools should include "Traffic rules" as one of their subjects right from 1st grade. Every child should be inculcated with "traffic sense" right from the time he starts riding his tricycle. I think with the kind of monstrous traffic conditions in the cities these days, a society that is more aware and well-educated about traffic rules and safety is the need of the hour! If only our government was listening!
*****
Talking about trying new things, recently I did something I never thought I would.
So I had clothes for every, what should I say, occasion? So I had club wear and pub wear, ofcourse there's a difference between the two and ofcourse clothes had to be different. Then there were separate clothes for dinners and separate for lunches. There were specific clothes I'd wear when going for the movies, there were separate ones I'd wear with parents (ofcourse it'super embarrassing when some guy is staring at your ass in front of your Dad, better avoid pissing Dad off, no?). There were separate type of clothes I'd wear when going for shopping and there were separate clothes for going down to the grocery shop. Separate ones for office, which again had formals, casuals and Indian wear. Indian wear were categorized as Indian-wear for everyday use and for "special occasions". There were clothes to be worn in the house (you don't want to look shabby even at home!), and there were separate ones for sleeping time. Am I missing anything? I am sure I missed something. Anyway, so yeah, so very tedious and so very vain. I don't know what happened to me. Maybe I saw sense or maybe I am just tired now or maybe I get no time these days.
Anyway, so I went to a club, like a good up-market club, in a patiala salwaar kameez and ofcourse more than me, Munira was super embarrassed. Heh :) I think more than embarrassed she was just shocked that I didn't run to the nearest mall and buy something "appropriate". I think I have reached that stage where I don't give two hoots about what people have to say. And really that's a wonderful thing. I think I cared about "propriety" and "what people think of me" a tad too much and it somehow affected everything I did. Which is quite sad actually. So in a way this is liberating. I think if I can pull off an Amritsari Patiala in a club, not get thrown out and yes, do look hot too, I definitely can sit at home in just my bathrobe and no one should have a problem, right? Right.
*****
And oh, I talked to him today :) but damn! He's not that smart :( Quite a shame.
I think instead of teaching subjects like "moral education", the government and all private schools should include "Traffic rules" as one of their subjects right from 1st grade. Every child should be inculcated with "traffic sense" right from the time he starts riding his tricycle. I think with the kind of monstrous traffic conditions in the cities these days, a society that is more aware and well-educated about traffic rules and safety is the need of the hour! If only our government was listening!
*****
Talking about trying new things, recently I did something I never thought I would.
So I had clothes for every, what should I say, occasion? So I had club wear and pub wear, ofcourse there's a difference between the two and ofcourse clothes had to be different. Then there were separate clothes for dinners and separate for lunches. There were specific clothes I'd wear when going for the movies, there were separate ones I'd wear with parents (ofcourse it'super embarrassing when some guy is staring at your ass in front of your Dad, better avoid pissing Dad off, no?). There were separate type of clothes I'd wear when going for shopping and there were separate clothes for going down to the grocery shop. Separate ones for office, which again had formals, casuals and Indian wear. Indian wear were categorized as Indian-wear for everyday use and for "special occasions". There were clothes to be worn in the house (you don't want to look shabby even at home!), and there were separate ones for sleeping time. Am I missing anything? I am sure I missed something. Anyway, so yeah, so very tedious and so very vain. I don't know what happened to me. Maybe I saw sense or maybe I am just tired now or maybe I get no time these days.
Anyway, so I went to a club, like a good up-market club, in a patiala salwaar kameez and ofcourse more than me, Munira was super embarrassed. Heh :) I think more than embarrassed she was just shocked that I didn't run to the nearest mall and buy something "appropriate". I think I have reached that stage where I don't give two hoots about what people have to say. And really that's a wonderful thing. I think I cared about "propriety" and "what people think of me" a tad too much and it somehow affected everything I did. Which is quite sad actually. So in a way this is liberating. I think if I can pull off an Amritsari Patiala in a club, not get thrown out and yes, do look hot too, I definitely can sit at home in just my bathrobe and no one should have a problem, right? Right.
*****
And oh, I talked to him today :) but damn! He's not that smart :( Quite a shame.
November 14, 2010
Marriages Are Made in Heaven?
It took a lot of courage and many dialogues with my self to come to a stage where I thought marriage was not so bad after all. And I did not want my faith in marriage shaken. Not after I struggled to believe in it in the first place.
But I see failing marriages all around. Both, arranged and love marriages, and they have done what a jerk would do to a cookie perched on the corner of a high table. The cookie has fallen down and crumbled into particles, like my faith in this "great" institution has. Or perhaps, not in this institution as much as in people. And in their innate goodness. Goodness, what goodness?
It wrenches your soul to watch a 55 year old woman cry for her only child's well-being. She is so heart broken, she does not even pray for her daughter's happiness anymore, she only prays that her daughter and her two granddaughters simply stay alive. Yes, where is God at such times I wonder. Where is justice?
Today's men are simply literate. Not educated. They're not.
Working in the US and studying in UK has not made them open-minded and/or understanding. They have travelled all over the world but they still live in their caves. They still treat their "better" halves as slaves, as maids. What has 21st century done for us women I wonder. When the husband locks his pregnant wife and denies her food while his son is growing inside her. When he treats her nothing more than a piece of furniture in the house. When he refuses to take her close or even talk to her for 5 years. Yes. That long. And yes, these men, they are from what one would say "good families". Families that have colonels and college professors as parents. Families that are respected in the society. Good families. I don't think so, if they raised such beasts as sons, I don't think so! What kind of children have you raised? I feel sorry for the women who raised such men! Sorry cause you not only failed as mothers but also as human beings. What a shoddy job you have done raising such imbeciles who do not realize how badly it affects his own children when he beats their mother because she spent an extra dollar on baby-food or didn't mow the lawn on time. Yes, six-year olds and 2-year olds can not say much, but they understand. And it's so sad that when even a little girl can understand, this grown man can not see that he is murdering his own happiness when he refuses his wife basic respect.
Yes, I am very bitter. I know all men aren't same, not as contemptible. All marriages are not quagmires, not made in hell. But what can I do? It's so difficult to see all these ruins and still hope that your house will be beautiful. It scares me. It scares me to know that we might be living in 2010, but women today are still treated as bad as they were back in 1700's.
This pain is not what we dream of when we tie that black thread and leave our carefully built world to make a home with you. We don't raise your children to have them hit and hurt by you. We don't give you our heart, body and soul for you to butcher them with your bare hands. We dream of happiness too. And so, look into our eyes and tell us that we don't deserve to be happy.
November 12, 2010
Manufactured Love...
So what do you do when you're talking insane? You shut up and let others speak. And so this blog needs some sanity I thought and so just like that, I asked Divya to write something for the blog. Here's a guest post by her :)
P.S: If I was a guy, I'd totally date her. So if you're in London...you know what to do, right?
*****
Soliloquy on Manufactured Love
They say the young ones don’t know what love is
(or what love was)
back in the day
of stolen glances,
inked words in parched
papers, reeking of
innocence and simplicity
of a bygone era
laden with warm,
lilting words which
tilt hearts and heads
towards the buoyancy
of love and youth.
They say it’s all gone now, in this fast-paced,
(i-Everything) world
where the machinery
of love and loving
is alien to the old,
to the lovers of yesteryears,
who waged and raged
against odds, against scorn
to give birth to
the youth of today
and yet, the same flesh and
blood don’t speak the
same words, or make
the same vows.
We, the young, the strong, healthy bodies and limbs,
drink a different concoction
of love, made out of
various material ingredients,
purchased from Amazon,
with bits of the latest Apple gadgets,
a dazzling sprinkle of De Beers,
and the hallmark of today’s love
-Hallmark cards and gifts.
Who needs romance?
Who has time for gestures?
Who notices hand-written letters?
Who has the time to remember?
Or to be reminded of moments?
They say the young ones don’t know what love is
(or what love was)
We stomp our feet and say this is what love is:
Manufactured, hassle- free, next day-delivery, (and gift-wrapped?)
P.S: If I was a guy, I'd totally date her. So if you're in London...you know what to do, right?
*****
Soliloquy on Manufactured Love
They say the young ones don’t know what love is
(or what love was)
back in the day
of stolen glances,
inked words in parched
papers, reeking of
innocence and simplicity
of a bygone era
laden with warm,
lilting words which
tilt hearts and heads
towards the buoyancy
of love and youth.
They say it’s all gone now, in this fast-paced,
(i-Everything) world
where the machinery
of love and loving
is alien to the old,
to the lovers of yesteryears,
who waged and raged
against odds, against scorn
to give birth to
the youth of today
and yet, the same flesh and
blood don’t speak the
same words, or make
the same vows.
We, the young, the strong, healthy bodies and limbs,
drink a different concoction
of love, made out of
various material ingredients,
purchased from Amazon,
with bits of the latest Apple gadgets,
a dazzling sprinkle of De Beers,
and the hallmark of today’s love
-Hallmark cards and gifts.
Who needs romance?
Who has time for gestures?
Who notices hand-written letters?
Who has the time to remember?
Or to be reminded of moments?
They say the young ones don’t know what love is
(or what love was)
We stomp our feet and say this is what love is:
Manufactured, hassle- free, next day-delivery, (and gift-wrapped?)
November 11, 2010
Flowers That Can Fly...
So when Divya asked me who my best friends were, for a moment it reminded me of school days when you tried to have as many best friends as you could, 'cause having many best friends was supposed to be "cool".
And when D said, "we're two very different people, yet we are alike too", I realised in friendship that's a good thing. Being different is good. However, in a marriage, I am not even saying a relationship, in a marriage, I have come to realize that "similar" works and not different.
In a friendship, try to seek out varied and different people. There'll be much more learning. When it comes to marriage, try to look for someone who is similar. Who has same likes, dislikes, interests, goals and dreams. And this is completely opposite of what I used to think some 12 months back. I always thought two people who were alike would spell boredom in a marriage. But that just ain't true. It would be a generalization, but it takes many compromises and adjustments and a lot of "understanding" for two dissimilar people to work a marriage and more so when it's arranged.
Anyway, coming back to best friends, what makes a friend a best friend? I think the people I call best friends are the ones with whom I am not afraid to be myself. I can be me, whoever she is. Weird, flawed, good, awesome, bad. Grumpy, cranky, petty, bitchy, loving. Me. And they will not mind.
These people, they have seen the worst in me, the best, the good and the bad. And they are still around. I think that is what makes them special to me. That is what makes them "best friends" to me.
Who's your best friend?
And when D said, "we're two very different people, yet we are alike too", I realised in friendship that's a good thing. Being different is good. However, in a marriage, I am not even saying a relationship, in a marriage, I have come to realize that "similar" works and not different.
In a friendship, try to seek out varied and different people. There'll be much more learning. When it comes to marriage, try to look for someone who is similar. Who has same likes, dislikes, interests, goals and dreams. And this is completely opposite of what I used to think some 12 months back. I always thought two people who were alike would spell boredom in a marriage. But that just ain't true. It would be a generalization, but it takes many compromises and adjustments and a lot of "understanding" for two dissimilar people to work a marriage and more so when it's arranged.
Anyway, coming back to best friends, what makes a friend a best friend? I think the people I call best friends are the ones with whom I am not afraid to be myself. I can be me, whoever she is. Weird, flawed, good, awesome, bad. Grumpy, cranky, petty, bitchy, loving. Me. And they will not mind.
These people, they have seen the worst in me, the best, the good and the bad. And they are still around. I think that is what makes them special to me. That is what makes them "best friends" to me.
Who's your best friend?
Doggy Question...
I wonder if it's a dog's way of attempting suicide when he throws himself in front of your vehicle or crosses a high traffic lane.
A Heart Missing, A Mind Numbed & A Soul Lost...
Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind. These passions, like great winds, have blown me hither and thither, in a wayward course, over a deep ocean of anguish, reaching to the very verge of despair.
I have sought love, first, because it brings ecstasy - ecstasy so great that I would often have sacrificed all the rest of life for a few hours of this joy. I have sought it, next, because it relieves loneliness--that terrible loneliness in which one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold unfathomable lifeless abyss. I have sought it finally, because in the union of love I have seen, in a mystic miniature, the prefiguring vision of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined. This is what I sought, and though it might seem too good for human life, this is what--at last--I have found.
With equal passion I have sought knowledge. I have wished to understand the hearts of men. I have wished to know why the stars shine. And I have tried to apprehend the Pythagorean power by which number holds sway above the flux. A little of this, but not much, I have achieved.
Love and knowledge, so far as they were possible, led upward toward the heavens. But always pity brought me back to earth. Echoes of cries of pain reverberate in my heart. Children in famine, victims tortured by oppressors, helpless old people a burden to their sons, and the whole world of loneliness, poverty, and pain make a mockery of what human life should be. I long to alleviate this evil, but I cannot, and I too suffer.
This has been my life. I have found it worth living, and would gladly live it again if the chance were offered me.
--“What I have lived for”, Autobiography, Bertrand Russell
November 10, 2010
The Beauty & The Beast...
I am sure after reading this article husbands all over will convince their wives with, "if you can put it on your face..."
It is amazing what science can do, no?
It is amazing what science can do, no?
Self-involved...
I was always bad with details. Details, details, details! I need to take care of the details.
*****
In other news, kajal has become such an essential part of my life that I just can not step out without first applying kajal to my eyes. But today I did. And I look so incomplete, like something's missing, like I just lost someone.
*****
I think we get so involved in our own careers and industry, we often become blind to other industries and professions. Like everyone time those sales people call I ask them to come late around 7-8pm. I get free after 6:30pm but I never realised till now that those people also have their own "personal life". Maybe I am just plain insensitive and when I throw tantrums like, "Your company provides terrible service! Why can't your people come at 8 PM?", am sure the guy at the other end must think me a bitch. Which won't be far from the truth. Am sure he had a hard day and at the end of the day, which should be 7 pm for him too, he just wants to go home and spend the remainder of day with his family. Or has his own personal work. Or needs to take his dogs out for a walk, has friends he wants to hang out with or needs to give time to his girlfriend or wife. And then someone like me demands he come at 8 pm and he doesn't want to lose one customer so he agrees. I think it's important to be aware of the lives of people around us. Those of our maids, the sales people, the janitors, the office boys, the fruit sellers, the autowallas even. Your own watchman. The man who gets your newspaper.
I am sure we will be a bit more considerate if we knew atleast a little about their work day. I am positive we'd sympathise and possibly come to care too.
*****
In other news, kajal has become such an essential part of my life that I just can not step out without first applying kajal to my eyes. But today I did. And I look so incomplete, like something's missing, like I just lost someone.
*****
I think we get so involved in our own careers and industry, we often become blind to other industries and professions. Like everyone time those sales people call I ask them to come late around 7-8pm. I get free after 6:30pm but I never realised till now that those people also have their own "personal life". Maybe I am just plain insensitive and when I throw tantrums like, "Your company provides terrible service! Why can't your people come at 8 PM?", am sure the guy at the other end must think me a bitch. Which won't be far from the truth. Am sure he had a hard day and at the end of the day, which should be 7 pm for him too, he just wants to go home and spend the remainder of day with his family. Or has his own personal work. Or needs to take his dogs out for a walk, has friends he wants to hang out with or needs to give time to his girlfriend or wife. And then someone like me demands he come at 8 pm and he doesn't want to lose one customer so he agrees. I think it's important to be aware of the lives of people around us. Those of our maids, the sales people, the janitors, the office boys, the fruit sellers, the autowallas even. Your own watchman. The man who gets your newspaper.
I am sure we will be a bit more considerate if we knew atleast a little about their work day. I am positive we'd sympathise and possibly come to care too.
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