Showing posts with label conversations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label conversations. Show all posts

April 25, 2011

Saying Yes...

Sometimes I feel the real me is hidden in the drafts.

In words, that never get heard, published; words that are scared to come out lest they be rejected for being too simple. Too honest. Too painful. Cruel even.

I have 311 drafts sitting in my Gmail and 395 in blogger.

So many conversations that never happened. 

April 15, 2011

Naina...

To know there is a person who knows everything about you. Who knows your deepest fears, the pain that was born in the dark and never saw light...till now, who knows your crushed dreams...to feel such lightness...weightlessness...

Like the tumour that had been growing in you, has been cut, removed.

To give your hurt, your fears, your broken dreams-a voice. To thread them into words and to have them turned into a garland of sweet-smelling flowers, by a gentle hand, a loving soul...like walking into bright sunshine.

April 14, 2011

A Private Message...

Friend: Welcome to the quarter life crisis.

Me: Damn, it's so fucked up.

Friend: This makes me immensely happy that u feel the same way and it totally is. But it is true, perspectives change so much these days...that I sometimes don't really know what do I believe in, again the whole discovery of the self...I'm so tired and exhausted...

Me: Yep, it's like you handle one thing, one emotion, one thought, you deal with it and you stow it away and there again, pops another one and you're back to staring at a stranger in the mirror.

Friend: Yea, such is life...I guess...

*****
And so these days I spend most of my time acquainting myself with my new thoughts.

Age, again, yes. A recent shocking one I found is this:

I remember there was a time when I would see nothing wrong with a man who "experimented" a lot. While I did not particularly like such a man, I thought, well, so what? His life. I never judged him. His this aspect never interfered with my dealings with such an individual.


These days, however, I find myself repulsed by the very idea of such a man or woman. For whom women/men are nothing but a notch on their respective bedpost. Who see nothing wrong in jumping from one to another. A new attraction every day.


Earlier, I could separate their such private behaviour, seeing it as just one part, unsavoury, but isolable aspect of their whole personality; even making allowances by saying to each its own. But these days, I find it increasingly difficult to like or trust such people, no matter how they are with others. No matter how truthful and loyal they are toward their loved ones. No matter how they conduct themselves in other areas of their life. I am finding it very difficult to talk to such men and women and not feel disgust.


And I am, not liking such prejudice on my part. I am hating it in fact. 

April 05, 2011

Wilting Ears...

Dear Universe,

Why is it so bloody(forgive me!) difficult to find a decent man who is also a thrilling conversationalist?! Why? WHY WHY WHY? Answer me this dear Universe!

Why can't I meet a guy who can talk about geography, literature, history, economics, finance, science, politics and any and every topic under the sky and above it? When I can, why can't I find another one like me? Find me a man with whom I can talk till our ears bleed and jaws hurt and till we pass out from sheer exhaustion of talking. Send me a man with whom my conversations are so unbelievably awesome and interesting that even unbelievable good sex is the last thing on our minds.

If such a man does exist, parcel him right away dear Universe, and I shall forever be indebted to you.


Yours (most) loquaciously,
A