Her incapability to deal with more than one relationship at a time was something I never understood. It was like she could entertain only one person at a time, all her energies focussed only on that one person, irrespective of how it affected other relationships in her life. Her Biggest failure was perhaps this.
In the days I spent living with her, I realised, there were many lessons to be learnt. The biggest perhaps was knowing how to deal with others.
Her second failure, which made things much worse for her, was her further inability to prioritize relationships. She was never able to judge which were more important and which not. Should one jeopardize one's close relationships for the inferior ones? Yes, sometimes it was okay to let a distant friend be upset if it meant keeping the important ones happy. Sometimes, it was okay to overlook the important one's mistake, sometimes it was okay to take sides even if the close one was in the wrong.
It was only after studying her that I completely understood the difference between what "one should do" and what "one must do". Right was after all an abstract concept. In relationships, atleast. She taught me, in failing to understand herself, that "appropriate" was right.
It was sad how she went about life with a relationship blindfold, with a rigid view of what was right and wrong, no matter who got hurt in the end. And this was why she was so unhappy.
In the days I spent living with her, I realised, there were many lessons to be learnt. The biggest perhaps was knowing how to deal with others.
Her second failure, which made things much worse for her, was her further inability to prioritize relationships. She was never able to judge which were more important and which not. Should one jeopardize one's close relationships for the inferior ones? Yes, sometimes it was okay to let a distant friend be upset if it meant keeping the important ones happy. Sometimes, it was okay to overlook the important one's mistake, sometimes it was okay to take sides even if the close one was in the wrong.
It was only after studying her that I completely understood the difference between what "one should do" and what "one must do". Right was after all an abstract concept. In relationships, atleast. She taught me, in failing to understand herself, that "appropriate" was right.
It was sad how she went about life with a relationship blindfold, with a rigid view of what was right and wrong, no matter who got hurt in the end. And this was why she was so unhappy.
2 comments:
Sounds like a have a long lost twin in some distant land.
Well then, you gotta learn :)
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