The 7-Year Itch...

A friend recently broke up with his 7 year old gf, who's also my good friend. Two of my best friends are unsure about marriage, after being together for 7 years (You know who you are :)). Another couple I know split up after 7 years. I am sure there are many more such couples, who have decided not to tie the knot with their long term partners. I am trying hard not to be judgmental here, cause in all cases, the people involved are dear friends and I know they are smart and good-hearted people.


And yet, I don't understand the math here. If I was with a guy for 7 years, I'd be damn sure about wanting to spend the rest of my life with him. 7 years is just too much time wasted in deciding, too much invested with no returns. Let's accept it, a relationship demands a lot of you, emotionally, mentally, financially and physically. Quitting after 7 years, is like bad math to me.


I know H is assailed with guilt and remorse, he knows he has betrayed N, the girl who's now coping with no job and no love, but he still took the decision he did. Same with all of them.


I wanted to slap H and put some sense in his head. What has N not done for him? It was for anyone to see how much that girl loved him, and he is a fool to let go of someone who has put up with so much for him for the last 7 years. What's wrong with him I asked him. He said he's confused. That was like a joke to me. How can anyone be confused after 7 years of dating is beyond me. I don't understand it. I really don't.


It's not like they found someone else, it's not like they have suddenly changed, it's not even that they don't like each other any more...but still...baffles me.



At 27, our parents had built a fortune already, had a family with two kids, and were already saving up for their retirement.


What are we doing today?


Somewhere I think it is the "Hey, I can do better than this. I can get a better girl/guy", thinking that's causing these people to split up.


With the world becoming smaller each day, with easy access to grooming, with easy money, it is easy to find a mate. Or that's what these people think. I have done that and I can tell you that it is a very potent argument and it's not so easy to brush it off.


It's easy to imagine that perhaps your soul-mate is somewhere else, maybe sitting at that cafe, maybe you'll bump into him at your friend's birthday party, maybe you'll meet her in MBA school, or maybe just maybe, you think, your parents will be able to find you a better one. Perhaps a hotter girl or perhaps a richer guy. The unknown will always be desirable. After 7 years, the temptation to explore will be strong.


I don't know who is right and who is not. But all I have to say is this: You might find a hotter girl, you might find a richer guy, but finding good, honest-to-god love? It comes rarely. Don't let people who love you walk out of your life.