Frisson...

"I thought if only I had a keen, shapely bone structure to my face or could discuss politics shrewdly or was a famous writer Constantin might find me interesting enough to sleep with.


And then I wondered if as soon as he came to like me he would sink into ordinariness, and if as soon as he came to love me I would find fault, the way I did with Buddy Willard and the boys before him.


I would catch sight of some flawless man off in the distance, but as soon as he moved closer I immediately saw he wouldn't do at all.


That's one of the reasons I never wanted to get married. The last thing I wanted was infinite security and to be the place an arrow shoots off from. I wanted change and excitement and to shoot off in all directions myself, like the colored arrows from a Fourth of July rocket." 

—Sylvia Plath

No Sugar For You...

I wonder why people continue to be mean and hurtful to others, when they know what harm it can cause. I guess maybe they enjoy it, I guess maybe it gives them a high. I guess, people hurt others cause it makes them feel powerful. But I wonder if that high wears off into regret ever.

Under The Bell Jar...

"Let me live, love and say it well in good sentences."

Reading a wonderful book is like falling in love. The heady rush you feel when you know this book is what you were waiting for, all along, and you can't wait to turn page after page, and devour all of its loveliness like a hungry wolf, make it your own, live inside it and get lost in his mysterious folds. You know you're in love with a book when you want to tell everyone about it.

Found...

Your kisses
Ave told me
That i'll never be alone

The only
Place on earth
That truly feels like home

I'll never
Recover
Bewitched as i am by you

You grew me
Orange trees
From under new skies so blue

And you made shy
Flowers bloom
From under the falling snow

Through my life
I love you
'Til these words all cease to flow

Oh you're so
Beautiful
You make my blue eyes ache

The looks that
You send me
Are causing my heart to break

Bewitched as i am by you

Unfulfilled Dreams...

It's hard to swallow failure. It's hard to tell yourself not to shed tears. It's hard to smile when a friend tells you to keep trying, something good is waiting for you. It's hard to believe that something good is actually on its way to you. It's hard to get up and get going and not wallow in self-pity.

But by god, I am exhausted. I am bone deep, soul aching tired. I want to go away. Far from all these expectations, from this life, from all these people too. Just be alone and do nothing. Sleep in your arms, curled, warm, safe. Build me a castle, lock me in and wake me up after a hundred years. Let me be a loser and run away and hide and blame it all on some invisible power and not try again. 

Little People, Big Horrors....

It's been almost 10 days since the nephew came to India, and I have come to understand three universal truths about having kids. I shall write a whole big post later, when I get some time, but for now, pay attention:


Realization# 1: Forgot all about yourself once you have a kid. In short, your freedom is fucked.

Realization# 2: For a cleanliness and neatness freak like me, having a kid around is like my worst nightmare come true. Either have two dozen servants at hand to clean and mop constantly, do it yourself and die of exhaustion or then close your eyes and learn to enjoy living in something like a pigsty.

Realization# 3: Women, oh dear women, your beautiful divine body, it will resemble something close to a overstuffed potato sack after having a baby. And that'll be the least of your worries. Unless ofcourse you're Victoria Beckham. In which case, you can go sip a martini and worry about your $20,000 manicure.


Nature, you are most biased toward men. 

Japan And The Earthquake...

Ours might be a country populated with humans, but ours is no civilization. I shudder every time I think what would have happened had it been India and not Japan. These japs, I used to call them crazy, but I now say that with utmost respect. 

A foreigner's perspective about Japan. Better be safe than sorry, Japan shows us how and why.