Some days are strange. There's so much happening in the day all at once, you don't know what to make of anything. And all that busyness should keep you occupied, but it doesn't.
*****
And just like that, out of the blue, like a bolt of lightening it struck me. I know what happened. I let you be larger than life, I put you on the pedestal, I looked up at you, I believed you were better than me. That's what happened. That's what went wrong.
*****
Sometimes I just love men so much, I want to turn into a guy myself. Men, you are awesome.
December 16, 2010
December 15, 2010
Caught In The Net...
So today was dedicated for Munira's wedding shopping and I bought two awesome sarees and I can't wait to flaunt them! :D Wheeeeeeeee! Okay so, one is baby pink and the other is in hot pink colour. Yes, I bought PINK sarees! :D Yay, yay, yay!
And like always I forgot about the details. Details like what you say? Well, I just realised that both the awesome sarees are made of net material, and well that's all fine. The real problem is that I have only 15 days left to get a liposuction. Or else everyone at Munira's wedding is going to get a full view of my awesome tummy. Yep. That's ofcourse, if she lets me enter the wedding hall in those sarees, in the first place.
Anyway, so when I told mom I am buying sarees for Munira's wedding instead of lengha's, she was more than happy. According to mothers, once a girl wears a saree, she's ready for marriage. I bought my first saree in 2004 for my sister's wedding. But my mom is still hopeful. What can I say?
You know it's only when you go to the markets, the real markets of India, do you realize how the not-so-well-off live and buy. Shopping in the malls has insulated us from the harsher realities that exist a few kilometers away from those malls. We buy in AC malls, with music and assistants to help you, and where you don't have to lug around heavy bags, you instead have carts or then bags with wheels that you can drag around.
But you buy from these markets and you realise, in that whole chaos which defines the Indian markets, how lucky you are.
And while we are on the topic of buying, I bought bananas on the way today. I mostly never bought any groceries (though I can bargain real well :D), dad or mom always did. I only bought the "gourmet" vegetables for the likes of pasta and pizza, that too from the gourmet shops, and so I went to the market like after a long time and good god! Bananas are 30 rupees a dozen? What the hell happened? Did all bananas go to heaven? And my favourite oranges? They're 100 rupees a dozen! Even a litre of petrol is cheaper! I remember buying them oranges at 40/- a dozen last winter. If someone like me finds 100 rupees a dozen for oranges costly, what do the poor eat?
And we girls really need to learn the art of saving from our mothers. I mean, look at us! We have regular incomes and good incomes for that matter and we never save anything. I don't know what happens to my money. It comes and goes. And I am like, erm, yes I have been working for 4 years now, what happened to all that money? I guess I need to open my wardrobe and look inside. Yes, I need to learn how to save from mother. Our stay-at-home moms never had regular incomes like we do, but still they managed to save so much, and we? We don't even know what happens to our money. Shameful.
And so it's decided. 2011 new year resolution is: Learn the art of saving. Yep. I'll be a rich woman someday.
And like always I forgot about the details. Details like what you say? Well, I just realised that both the awesome sarees are made of net material, and well that's all fine. The real problem is that I have only 15 days left to get a liposuction. Or else everyone at Munira's wedding is going to get a full view of my awesome tummy. Yep. That's ofcourse, if she lets me enter the wedding hall in those sarees, in the first place.
Anyway, so when I told mom I am buying sarees for Munira's wedding instead of lengha's, she was more than happy. According to mothers, once a girl wears a saree, she's ready for marriage. I bought my first saree in 2004 for my sister's wedding. But my mom is still hopeful. What can I say?
You know it's only when you go to the markets, the real markets of India, do you realize how the not-so-well-off live and buy. Shopping in the malls has insulated us from the harsher realities that exist a few kilometers away from those malls. We buy in AC malls, with music and assistants to help you, and where you don't have to lug around heavy bags, you instead have carts or then bags with wheels that you can drag around.
But you buy from these markets and you realise, in that whole chaos which defines the Indian markets, how lucky you are.
And while we are on the topic of buying, I bought bananas on the way today. I mostly never bought any groceries (though I can bargain real well :D), dad or mom always did. I only bought the "gourmet" vegetables for the likes of pasta and pizza, that too from the gourmet shops, and so I went to the market like after a long time and good god! Bananas are 30 rupees a dozen? What the hell happened? Did all bananas go to heaven? And my favourite oranges? They're 100 rupees a dozen! Even a litre of petrol is cheaper! I remember buying them oranges at 40/- a dozen last winter. If someone like me finds 100 rupees a dozen for oranges costly, what do the poor eat?
And we girls really need to learn the art of saving from our mothers. I mean, look at us! We have regular incomes and good incomes for that matter and we never save anything. I don't know what happens to my money. It comes and goes. And I am like, erm, yes I have been working for 4 years now, what happened to all that money? I guess I need to open my wardrobe and look inside. Yes, I need to learn how to save from mother. Our stay-at-home moms never had regular incomes like we do, but still they managed to save so much, and we? We don't even know what happens to our money. Shameful.
And so it's decided. 2011 new year resolution is: Learn the art of saving. Yep. I'll be a rich woman someday.
A Marigold...
It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.
--Friedrich Nietzsche
--Friedrich Nietzsche
December 14, 2010
December 13, 2010
Where Men Rule Over Gods...
On a cold wintry night like this, I snuggle up to you and you wrap your arms around me. We don't have much, but the love in your eyes is enough to keep me warm. And you look down at me, and you see the same warmth in my eyes and you smile. I ask you to tell me a story. I love your stories. And you pretend to think for a moment and I help you with suggestions. Not the dragon one you say, haven't I told you that like a 100 times already? But I love that one I say. And you know you are going to end up telling me the dragon one today. You kiss me on the lips and we settle down comfortably in each other arms. I am all ears, intently looking up at you and you have a smile on your lips. And then you begin telling me the story. I imagine you walking through the jungles, and fighting with the tiger and the bears and killing the Lion Witch with a deer's antler. And I hug you closer when you tell me about the bandits who kept you in the dungeon for days without any food. You see the tears rolling down my cheek and you tell me about the Fairies who helped you cross the River of Fire and I feel better knowing there was someone to help you, that you were not alone. And I even tease you about the Water Nymph who helped you cross the Eleven Rivers and reach the Tree of Fate. I know you come across the dragon Nidhog and the giant Odin next, there's a seriousness in your voice, a tremble. And I feel a chill, when you, staring into the space, tell me how at times you thought you would never make it alive. How you fought for days, months, till the leaves turned yellow and the Eleven Rivers froze. And the cold claws at my heart with the thought of losing you, what would I do without you? But then the wolves Mirmir and Skoll bring you the Flaming Sword and how proud I am when you tell me how you wrestled with the giant and slew the dragon with the Flaming Sword. And I clap like a little girl when you finally kill the giant. And you laugh and tell me about the happy part, where you cross the Rainbow Bridge and meet the Five Old Ladies who help you find the Tower. And then you rescue me from the Tower and how happy I was to see you again. We both go quiet, each thinking about the painful times when we were separated. The uncertain times when I waited for you with nothing but hope and you struggled to even stay alive. How I missed you. I rest my head on your chest and you kiss the top of my head and ask me to tell you a story. Your turn now you say. But I have only one story to tell I say. But you persist knowing I can never say no to you for anything. So we settle down again in each others arms and I tell you a story; the story of Prince Charming.
Tik-Tok...
I oscillate between hope and despair like...like the way only I can.
*****
And I should totally write a book now-"How not to screw up at 26". I think there will be many takers, no?
*****
Everybody telling me to get married because I am 26 now and time is slipping by, quit it. Cause I am not quitting on my dreams, however irrational they may be.
And if nothing, I can always be the favourite aunt your kids would visit during their summer holidays. I could read to them and tell them all sorts of wonderful stories, and I could bake the best chocolate cake for them and I could teach the girls to garden and knit and play the piano and I could teach the boys how to impress the ladies. See? Your kids will love me.
Erm, alright, maybe not.
*****
There's no place harsher for a woman than women's loo. From the second she enters the loo, till the time she leaves, she is put under the microscope. Right from her hair to the colour of her toenail paint, everything is judged. She has no respite from the overcritical and unrelenting appraisal and the opinions that follow. Nothing is verbally said, not oh-so-loud atleast, but opinions are conveyed none the less.
I don't think two women staring into the same mirror can ever be friends. They'll smile at each other and chat about the latest mascara in the market, but as soon as one turns her back, the other will snigger. Ah, it is a bad bad place to be.
Funny then, that women should spend so much time in the loo.
*****
And I find it funnier that men all the world will miss their breakfast or skip lunch and the woman will find herself forcing him to eat. "You didn't eat lunch?!" *gasp* "You must eat something now! Why can't you ever take care of your health! blah-blah-blah! You always skip your breakfast as well! some more blah-blah-blah". And the guy will simply say, "I didn't feel like eating/I didn't get time, was busy/ I picked up a coke on the way/Stop fussing", and then the woman will get furious and further insist he eat.
Yours truly has done it. Sometimes I cringe and sometimes I feel it's justified. And I find it hypocritical of me that although I, myself, have missed meals several times, on several occasions, the woman in me just can not see anyone else hungry.
But *sigh*, I need to stop mothering. If you don't want to eat, well, stay hungry, let's talk about sex instead.
*****
And I should totally write a book now-"How not to screw up at 26". I think there will be many takers, no?
*****
Everybody telling me to get married because I am 26 now and time is slipping by, quit it. Cause I am not quitting on my dreams, however irrational they may be.
And if nothing, I can always be the favourite aunt your kids would visit during their summer holidays. I could read to them and tell them all sorts of wonderful stories, and I could bake the best chocolate cake for them and I could teach the girls to garden and knit and play the piano and I could teach the boys how to impress the ladies. See? Your kids will love me.
Erm, alright, maybe not.
*****
There's no place harsher for a woman than women's loo. From the second she enters the loo, till the time she leaves, she is put under the microscope. Right from her hair to the colour of her toenail paint, everything is judged. She has no respite from the overcritical and unrelenting appraisal and the opinions that follow. Nothing is verbally said, not oh-so-loud atleast, but opinions are conveyed none the less.
I don't think two women staring into the same mirror can ever be friends. They'll smile at each other and chat about the latest mascara in the market, but as soon as one turns her back, the other will snigger. Ah, it is a bad bad place to be.
Funny then, that women should spend so much time in the loo.
*****
And I find it funnier that men all the world will miss their breakfast or skip lunch and the woman will find herself forcing him to eat. "You didn't eat lunch?!" *gasp* "You must eat something now! Why can't you ever take care of your health! blah-blah-blah! You always skip your breakfast as well! some more blah-blah-blah". And the guy will simply say, "I didn't feel like eating/I didn't get time, was busy/ I picked up a coke on the way/Stop fussing", and then the woman will get furious and further insist he eat.
Yours truly has done it. Sometimes I cringe and sometimes I feel it's justified. And I find it hypocritical of me that although I, myself, have missed meals several times, on several occasions, the woman in me just can not see anyone else hungry.
But *sigh*, I need to stop mothering. If you don't want to eat, well, stay hungry, let's talk about sex instead.
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