Never Too Far From Crisis...

Officially changing my first name to "Drama".

Miss. Drama.

Suggestions for middle name?

A Void...

On days like these, nothing happens. I wake up late today, really late into the day, eat yesterday's dinner for lunch and begin watching a movie only to close the laptop five minutes later and nap again. I wake up and make some ginger chai and watch the 5pm sun shine on freshly washed green trees. It's a beautiful evening, but still, it feels like nothing's happening. I read. I realised I haven't read in the longest time. I read about baby carrots and how memories are really not that genuine, I read about the surfer boys in Puri and the poetic Mughal emperor who died in a foreign country. But still, time seems still. I make another pot of chai. I take the longest time to wash my hair today and now my hair smells of the Chinese shampoo. I make another cup of chai and google train schedule between Mumbai and Jammu. Did you know it takes 30 hours to travel from Mumbai to Jammu? I thought it would take a hell lot more. I salivate at all those awesome bags and shoes and dresses online. I don't buy anything, close the broswer and think about what I'd instead be doing right now. Nothing, it still feels like nothing's happening, time just doesn't seem to move. I get up and make dinner. I eat it alone. I read about emerging markets and paper clips. I decide to call it a day.

Come Away With Me...

It's that time of the year again! :)

I love this time of the year! :) Grey clouds, a view of lush green mountains and little water falls from the office balcony, unlimited ginger-lemongrass chai with hot samosas and pokoras, getting drenched in the rain with friends, and if I can, yes, even making paper boats and jumping in the puddles (this time the nephew will join too :)), driving on the expressway (the only time I feel like I am in Phoren), and then of course, watching the night, beautiful as it always is, become even more enchanting come rains, of sleeping snugly with the comforting pitter-patter sound of rain in your ears, of thunderstorms...somethings will be missed, like cuddling with your favourite person while watching the raindrops eventually become one...but others will remain same. Of just being indoors with no one but books for company. It's that time of the year again when I am the happiest :)

I must have posted Glosoli a couple of times on this blog, but I love it, and even more for the video:

*****

And oh no, sense prevailed :)

One Year In Mumbai...

This war has torn my heart...where does one go from here?

Postcards...

Locus Of Control...

“Good weather is like good women - it doesn’t always happen and when it does it doesn’t always last. Man is more stable: if he’s bad there’s more chance he’ll stay that way, or if he’s good he might hang on, but a woman is changed by children, age, diet, conversation, sex, the moon, the absence or presence of sun, or good times. A woman must be nursed into subsistence by love where a man can become stronger by being hated.” — Charles Bukowski

A woman gets her energy from knowing the man she loves, loves her back. And I have seen what loving someone day-in-day-out without getting that love back can do to her; at the end of it she'll become a hollow unit.

And at such a point, she should be filled up again, with love from family and friends and kisses from little kids***, hugs and sunshine and colours and warmth, flowers and music and laughter and the good bits of life, till such a time she's plump with joy for life again.

And then she must go out and love again.


***The kind that makes you feel accepted, what matters then if no one else is as crazy about you? This is enough.

Forget Not...

I won't speak to my parents/sister for days, but on days like these, all I have to do is hear my Dad's voice...I can hear age in his voice now...and nothing, not even the fact that the guy I love does not love me back breaks me as much, but the mortality? in Dad's voice does. And suddenly, it seems more urgent that I spend my time with my parents, who have loved me even when I been least lovable, than moping over someone who has never valued me no matter how much I have loved.

Bitter, maybe. Clarity on priorities, definitely.