July 25, 2011

A Whore's Heart...

Suddenly this defeat.
This rain.
The blues gone gray
And the browns gone gray
And yellow
A terrible amber.
In the cold streets
Your warm body.
In whatever room
Your warm body.
Among all the people
Your absence
The people who are always
Not you.


I have been easy with trees
Too long.
Too familiar with mountains.
Joy has been a habit.
Now
Suddenly
This rain.
-Jack Gilbert  

July 24, 2011

Stray Words...

"What should I do about the wild and the tame? The wild heart that wants to be free, and the tame heart that wants to come home. I want to be held. I don't want you to come too close. I want you to scoop me up and bring me home at nights. I don't want to tell you where I am. I want to keep a place among the rocks where no one can find me. I want to be with you." — Jeanette Winterson
*****
"What a strange world this is when you can have as much sex as you like but love is taboo."
— Jeanette Winterson
***** 
"I think now that being free is not being powerful or rich or well regarded or without obligation but being able to love. To love someone else enough to forget about yourself even for one moment is to be free."
— Jeanette Winterson

Tears Dry On Their Own...


July 21, 2011

Someone Else's Garden...

Life will throw the weirdest revelations at you when you least expect any. So here I am, lying in bed, enjoying some good music, reading and I know, suddenly, know with a certainty that I will one day bring my own death. 

Maybe it will happen when I am old and bored, I'll consume a hundred sleeping pills. Maybe when I am in my forties, I'll throw myself in front of a fast train or maybe I'll jump in the Arabian sea one day I am strolling on Marine drive with a friend. I'll tell him I'll be right back, and I'll go surrender to the waves that have always called.

Maybe.

I'll be surprised if I don't.

The Greenness Of Your Grass...



"Chances are, you’re not going to be alone forever. You might joke about being a spinster—about getting cats with diamante collars or maybe an obnoxious Cockatoo you can teach dirty words—but inside you, somewhere deep in your bowel, nestled beneath your utmost fears and insecurities, there’s a little scrap of knowing that tells you that one day, somehow, you’ll have someone by your side...

...start spending more time with you. Laugh at your own jokes. Luxuriate in solitary silence. Walk. Read. Pamper yourself. Be as filthy and disgusting as you please. Learn the comfort of your own embrace. It’s a cliché but it’s true—you will love better once you’ve fallen in love with you. Sleep sprawled on the bed. Snore. When you wake up make eggs and bacon and eat them in bed on your own. Find things—big and small—that you love doing and do them everyday.

Focus on your job. Find a hobby. Do whatever the hell you want. Because when that day comes—the secret day you hold onto in the hidden recesses of your guts—you will have to compromise. You will have to think of someone else whenever you make a decision. You will have to share your bacon, and maybe they wont like it crispy besides, and you’ll have to adapt. You will have to sleep wedged between someone’s limbs. It wont be better and it wont be worse; it will be different, and you’ll have to learn to love it too."

From, Thought Catalog

July 20, 2011

The Weight Of Love...

“Sometimes we love people so much that we have to be numb to it. Because if we actually felt how much we love them, it would kill us. That doesn’t make you a bad person. It just means your heart’s too big.”
—Riding in Cars with Boys

Also, sometimes, they just take advantage of your love for them.

July 17, 2011

I'm All Right...

No guy will ever love you more or treat you with more care than your father. You'll be lucky if one treats you with as much. A girl might as well make peace with it. 



He made me laugh
He made me cry
He smoked his stogies in bed
But I'm all right
I'm all right
I've been lonely before
I asked the boy for a few kind words
He gave me a novel instead
But I'm all right
I'm all right
I've been lonely before
It's fine, it's OK
It was wrong either way
I just wanted to say
There isn't much fun when you're drinking wine
He got drunk, he fell down
He threw a few of my things around
But I'm all right
I'm all right
I've been lonely before

I'd like to believe that it's easy to leave
But I have to conceive that wherever you are
You're still driving my car
Sticks and stones break my bones
But tears don't leave any scars
So I'm all alright
I'm all alright
I've been lonely before

Mmm...
I'm all alright
I'm all alright
I'm all alright
Yeah
He played solitaire in bed
Used to blow bubbles in bed
He sang Christmas songs in bed