Pour Me Some Rum!

So Mommy dearest has been most anxious these days. "Get married! Get married!" She keeps saying. So dearest astrologer was consulted and as per her, I shall be shooed away by 2012. Mid of 2012 she says. That means I have 1 and 1/2 year to have some real fun!

Mom's Punjabi friend is most interested and suggested some Punjabi guys and as soon as sister heard, she was shouting over the phone,"No Punjabi men! No Punjabi men! They beat their wives!".

Like really :| Generalizations abound? In my family, most definitely.

Astrologer also says I would end up getting married to someone from my friend's circle. Someone I know. When mom heard this, she was like, "Yeah! I like that friend of yours. He looks good. Why don't you marry him?". Like it's as simple as buying soap from the supermarket. It's not of any concern ofcourse, that I think of him more in the brotherly sense. And so she kept talking about him all the time. Frustrated and angry I finally said, "Mom, he's sleeping with my best friend. Do you understand that? He's just a good friend!". That shut her up nice. Actually no. That shut her up nice about the friend, but then she started shouting, "You girls!" and went on to give me a lecture. Arghh, bad, bad move! I am a bad girl now.

Then, mom's best friend has suggested one guy from Umrica. Very rich and good family. Mom was floored. "He's tall and fair and so very handsome".

"What am I going to do with tall, fair and handsome Ma? Place him on the coffee table as a showpiece?!"

"I don't understand what you want".

"I agree", I said, "you don't".

It's been peaceful since then. Nice.

*****
The thing that freaks me out about marriage is that one day I'll end up posting my kid's pic on Facebook and my friends will comment, "How cute. New clothes for baby xyz?" And I will reply, "Yea. I bought new slacks for her/him." And someone will reply "how cute" and that will be the most exciting thing in my life!

Terrified. My-heart-can-pop-out-and-run-away-and-hide-and-my-brain-can-come-off-in-pieces-terrified.

Trees Are Tall...

Went for a walk the other day and came home with a nice ego massage. (For a moment I did feel that I had left my pants home or something.)

An aside, "Stay fit without being stared at", gymns could definitely use it as one of their marketing slogans!

Also, on my way back bought some almond oil and a couple of earrings from Fabindia. "Go jogging and come back shopping, typical chhokri", a guy friend said. Heh! Yes, typical chhokri indeed. So I have decided I won't be carrying my wallet after all.

*****
I have stopped fretting over my pics now. Really, it's useless. I mean, what the bloody hell! I stay fit and eat well and sleep on time and sleep all 8 hours that too, just for Munira's wedding! And then when the D-day comes, I am sleep-deprived, terribly hungover, extremely tired and then I have to pose for pics too! Arghhhh! It's not fair God, not fair!

And if the pics are so bad, one can only imagine the dance video! I actually danced for Munira's sangeet! Can anyone believe that?(Vodka is awesome!) Yes sir, like proper steps-walla dance, I did! That too on the stage! I did dance-dance to "Zor Ka Jhatka" from Action Replay. And from what I heard, I refuse to watch the video, I look quite adorable dancing and specially when I forget the dance steps and even more adorable when I trip! :|  Adorable is not an adjective any one can associate with me, no really, I am not being modest, so only thing is possible: they're laughing at me! Liars!


*****
I have realised I am a "phases" person. I have these no-fixed-length phases I go through from time to time. There are phases when I am extremely nice to people, phases when I am actually stupid (no, really!), phases when I am all witty and sassy and funny, phases when I am really depressed, phases when I hate the world ( this happens quite often), phases when I want to paint the town red, phases when I just want to sit at home and read or something, phases when I am all "Indian", phases when I am constantly talking and behaving like a phirang . And now I think my favourite phase is coming back, the one where I am mean and bitchy!

So yea, I don't owe you an explanation!

*****
But I am terribly bored of myself. I need some stupid people to make fun of! Hello Life, where are you hiding them?

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I miss my friends. It's always so much fun bitching with them :( Even when they're bitching about me.

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Fabindia's newest "dew plum" lip butter...not as yummy as the plum passion, but they could definitely use "Eat a smile" today tagline. I would totally buy it!

Erm, maybe marketing is not for me after all.

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This is by far the crappiest post I have written. But I have no regrets.

I am also trying my hand at fiction, practicing for a short story competition. Lalalala, hey! One can definitely dream! :|

And ooh, I have been looking at trees from my window(s) for so long now, that I forgot how tall trees can grow. As tall as a building. Or taller. Really.

A New Sky...

I am looking for a mountain and a desert, an elephant and a camel, a hawk and a mouse, a new traffic signal and a new chair, a new lamp and a new parachute, a new smell and a brand new mattress, a new cup for my morning chai and plateful of sunshine, a new book and a new reader, new disco balls and new sweat, a new river and some rain...all new and something old...

Frog Pyjamas Are Exciting...

It seems that everyone is bored. Bored of what? Bored of many things. Bored of same things. Bored of life. Bored of waking up everyday, going through the same routine. Bored of being bored. Bored of being sad. Everyone's sad around. Everyone's looking. Everyone's bored of looking too. Looking for what? Looking for life.  Something that'll save them. Some think it's love that'll save them. Some think it's a new job, a new fuck, a new city, a new adventure, new friends, a new kitchen, a new waist, a new identity. It seems like everyone's stuck...in a rut...motherfucking rut. Trapped from all side. Everyone's smoking their own stale frustrated breath. Even if it takes a jump from the 18th floor of the office building that'll bring change...well...there are people ready to even do that. It seems the universe is angry with humankind...humans are never kind, sorry, human being...but they have stopped being too. They are just sleepwalking through life...waking up and sleeping back into darkness that resembles their waking hours. We are being punished for something. I don't know what. But we are being punished. And there's nothing left except this painful wait.

Disappearing Love...

The three words he longed to hear, were not "I love you"; but "I came back". 

Emptiness...

It's not a great song, but it's a nice song.

The Song...

You're wondering if I'm lonely:

OK then, yes, I'm lonely

as a plane rides lonely and level

on its radio beam, aiming

across the Rockies

for the blue-strung aisles

of an airfield on the ocean.

You want to ask, am I lonely?

Well, of course, lonely

as a woman driving across country

day after day, leaving behind

mile after mile

little towns she might have stopped

and lived and died in, lonely

If I'm lonely

it must be the loneliness

of waking first, of breathing

dawns' first cold breath on the city

of being the one awake

in a house wrapped in sleep

If I'm lonely

it's with the rowboat ice-fast on the shore

in the last red light of the year

that knows what it is, that knows it's neither

ice nor mud nor winter light

but wood, with a gift for burning

--Adrienne Rich